NY Mirror

Anyway, when I asked Valentina Cervi, who plays Artemisia, what she thinks of the criticism, she replied in plain French: "Bullshit!" She then blithely segued from BS into PR, telling me that in two weeks she begins filming a dark comedy called Nothing on Robert. Gee, do I smell more male genitalia?

There's no connection here, but I'm fascinated by those new Gap Kids windows, which feature some of the most unintentionally salacious images since Artemisia's oils. The displays consist of creepy pairs of young, headless bodies, one doing a handstand as the other helpfully holds onto its shins with cloth hands. (In the West 30s store one night, a hand was actually leaning against the upside-down one's ass, but they'd fixed it by the next day.) Adjacent to these daffy duos whose faces have been lifted--off--are unexplained lineups of headless kids on their knees. I called the Gap for comment, but they bounced me around to three different reps, none of whom could come up with a rationale in time for deadline.

But allow me one more comment on headless doings--namely the Rainforest Alliance benefit at the Pierre last week, another gathering of uptown swells being cheeky, but not jowly. The event may not have been as grueling as a sex trial, but it was one of those trying experiences that you endure because you care either about the charity or the free dinner (guess which one brought me there). Host Chevy Chase presented three extremely diverse Green Globe awards (to an anthropologist, a designer, and Olivia Newton-John), gave us ecologically sound advice I'm sure he'll take (e.g., try car pools), and bantered with various celebs about how, to avoid guilt, they use "sustainably harvested" SmartWood for their luxury homes. As a diversion, an animal mimic performed monkey and pigeon calls, later rendering the same impressions on helium. I ran home, where a vibrator was ecologically sound, but only went so far.

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