NY Mirror

The show--a sampling of Lilith's lesser-known acts--was a little more huggable, though it didn't exactly have me running toward the nearest scalper. Anggun, the Malaysian Madonna, performed with finger cymbals, and then Rebekah strutted, sang, and smiled (though I liked the movie better). Our MC was News Radio's pleasingly demented Andy Dick,who didn't go over too well, but at least kept on going. He said he was jittery because he'd stopped smoking, drinking, and doing drugs, so "I'm just wandering around like a little nervous gerbil." Ignoring the person in the crowd who nastily yelled, "Betty Ford," the little gerbil lip-synched a Louis Prima?Keely Smith duet, then reemerged in drag as Gina (pronounced to rhyme with Va-gina), claiming to be a Lilith wannabe who was thrown out of Natalie Merchant's dressing room by Courtney Love.

After he stumbled off, cohost Cindy Crawfordannounced, "My card says 'Thanks, Andy,' but I didn't write this." Her mole seemed irritated. Andy later told me that Sarah McLachlanalmost didn't come onstage after that, because of his Gina routine. At least he didn't put his elbow on her shoulder. I asked the wacko comic if he's really off drugs, and he started spraying water out of his mouth for the cameras, then said, "What were you asking?" Never mind. Changing gears, I found myself saying "Do it out your butt!" And suddenly Dick did, pouring water back there that dribbled down in an example of why rectal leakage has become such a major worldwide crisis. "I drank so many Arizona Iced Teas, which are like caffeine enemas," he said. And then--with an entourage that included his son and a guy I heard Dick earlier ask, "So you're not coming home?"--he was gone into the night.

But let me settle my stomach, and a score. At the opening of a Soho makeup emporium named Sephora--my favorite shade: Gash--party diva Susanne Bartsch responded to a recent daily paper blind item that addressed rumors that her gym-owner hubby, David Barton, might leave her because he's fallen for a man. "They got it wrong!" she exclaimed. But if it were true, she joked, "I guess me and Bailey[their son] will have to be bridesmaids!" Only Bartsch could turn this speculative humiliation into yet another party!

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