NY Mirror

Back on Earth, those bus ads for infoseek.com featuring a rambunctious drag queen got me all hot and yodely, until I noticed that the image was only there to serve a reactionary message. The ads say "You wanted . . . " adjacent to a picture of an old-fashioned piece of royalty, and then "You got . . . " next to the image of the drag queen, racily sticking her tongue out. "You need infoseek," it goes on to inform, adding, "Once you know, you know." Yes, I do--I know that I will avoid infoseek.

In other filthy news, the president--in his challenge to "come clean" about that dress--must be running out of possible spin cycles. I think he should say that Monica unexpectedly walked in when he was fucking Hillary, causing him to pull out in confusion and spray the intern with that messy pearl necklace. Yeah, that's the ticket. Or maybe that, as he was wrapping up sex with Hillary, Monica snuck in, scraped discharge out of the First Lady, smeared it on her dress, and ran away, laughing like the devil. In any case, he should probably say something or Monica's gonna take him to the cleaners.

Michael Musto can be e-mailed at musto@villagevoice.com.

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