NY Mirror

In other restaurant developments, I'm still waiting for the food I ordered six weeks ago at Cafeteria. But here's the good news: the sprawling, kitschy barbecue palace called Empire Korea, which--as I'd lamented--had mysteriously changed over to Empire China a few months ago, is Empire Korea again! No, I don't understand, I just gorge.

And I also suck down fascinating info, like how Hero is a new gay magazine about couples (Hot Monogamy is one of their more popular columns), which has prompted the joke that they're offering three-month subscriptions. And how a source claims that one coupling in Irina Pantaeva's memoir Siberian Dream--a lesbian encounter between the model and an older woman in Paris--was totally made up. (An Avon Books publicist insists the tome is not a dream at all.) And how in another new memoir--the one by The View's Star Jones--Star argues articulately against racial slurs and generalizations, then says, "The top designers don't even bother with the likes of me, so why should I care what a bunch of predominantly gay white men think about the way I look?"

But as for predominantly black straight people, how stunned was I when the soundtrack for Why Do Fools Fall in Love turned out to have not one note via the movie's subject, Frankie Lymon, on it? Even the title song is retooled by Gina Thompson into a cut that's hip-hop, not doo-wop. Well, relax--Elektra reps assure me this record was designed to feature youth-oriented music "inspired by" the movie, while Rhino's coming out with another soundtrack featuring the Frankie stuff from the movie (in which, by the way, the lead guy isn't at all freaky enough, though Vivica A. Fox and predominantly gay black man Little Richard truly romp over any nearby banalities).

But wait, hold it, grab on to the crack in the marble floor and stop everything! The Fox News Network just booked me on The CrierReport and actually didn't cancel! Quick--someone flip over to the Weather Channel and see if hell just froze over. Then flip back and watch me!

Michael Musto can be e-mailed at musto@villagevoice.com.

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