NY Mirror

''Most high-minded of all was Madonna, a spiritual lady who wears her heart on her jewel-encrusted sari sleeve.''

Earlier in the evening--if I can use one of the Citizen Kane­like chronology tricks Haynes pays homage to--I called myself Velvet Goldberg and went to the premiere screening and party for the sweet Living Out Loud,where I overheard a whole shitload of stuff out loud. It was so animal, man. Queen Latifah said to Jon Bon Jovi, "I'm a Jersey kid who grew up on MTV. You've represented the state very well." Bon Jovi turned to me and said, "Do these things ever start on time?"Christian Slatersaid to Anthony LaPaglia,"I'll hook you up with the real estate agent from hell!" The woman who plays the sick old lady asked me for her table assignment. Latifah surveyed the buffet spread and announced, "I'm gonna get me some of that!" And Ivana Trumpsaid she was going out on Halloween dressed like a Playboybunny. I bet thatmade the Donald want her again.

As long as we're blurting out loud, let me interject that--while I'm living in terror that someone will do a Prefontaine movie with insects--I've already been tortured by Pleasantville, which takes a winning high concept and executes it in an uninspired, un-fun fashion that's way more vile than pleasant. In fact, watching this big bore was the most painful experience I've had since finding a coupon for my dentist in a Val-Pak. But the Big Apple Circus's Happy On! show is giddily entertaining and reallypleasant, if more ring-a-ling than Ringling. At one point on opening night, the star clown handed out bells to the audience for some interactive musical number he conducted, and one of the recipients turned out to be Katie Couric. Katie was a good sport about her concert debut, but was so off, she ended up apologizing to clownie for her severe lack of rhythm. Still, even her off-key ringing is better than the low-key cacophony emanating from her rival show, Good Morning America.

Now, may I borrow you my stylist?

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