NY Mirror

Though the elves now rap, the Radio City Christmas Spectacular is the same as ever— like Psycho, but far more worth re-creating.

Even neglected children cheer at the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, which, though the elves now rap and Santa talks about getting e-mail, is the same as ever— like Psycho, but far more worth re-creating. The show nicely mixes frolic and sanctimony, and not only does the splashiness never stop, but the camels never poop. And it was great to go back to 70-degree weather afterward.

For nostalgia's sake, we all donned snow boots to go to the Serenissima Awards dinner at Cipriani, honoring footwear, as my life became more surreal than ever. The event— which included an award presentation to someone named Eli Footer— was MC'd by the well-heeled Paul Sorvino,who admitted, "I'm best known for being the father of someone." He never told us who. The foot-in-mouth category came up when, at my table, a fashionista loudly announced that her nose was real— i.e., she hadn't had it clipped— explaining, "I'm not Jewish." I choked on my risotto, only to have the whole thing completely turn into a scene from Gentleman's Agreement when another fashion persona chimed in with yet more Jew-stereotyping remarks and a Voice cohort and I had to grandly announce our horror and imperiously storm off (after finishing the entrée, of course).

The same night's Glammy Awards at Life— honoring the year's best drag queens and their platform shoes— was a backdrop for a long procession of fake huffs, performed as shtick (though Mona Foot's slapping Linda Simpson with an award envelope— I forget why— did get a little too real). Presenter Flotilla DeBarge told the audience, "Don't fuck with me. I'm an angry black bitch and I've got corns, bunions, and gas." Mona claimed, "Lady Bunny isn't here. She's still eating Thanksgiving dinner." And Shasta Cola totally rocked on that Björk song that goes, "I miss you, but I haven't met you yet." By the way, the night's consensus was that if a bomb had gone off, Vince Vaughn still wouldn't be the best drag queen in showbiz.

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