Best Movie Involving Child Molesting: Happiness
Second Best: Lolita
Worst: The Celebration
Best Actress: (tie) Lisa Kudrow, Christina Ricci in The Opposite of Sex
Most Touching Cinema Moment: (tie) "Dad, what does cum mean?"Happiness; "Vagina, vagina, vaginadoes that word do anything for you?"The Opposite of Sex
The Making of the Trucker Film Black Dog: "OK, we've got Patrick Swayze and Randy Travisthat's a really solid acting duo. But for extra credibility, how about if we throw in ...Meat Loaf?"
The Year in Ellen: ABC yanked the show off, an exec telling Diane Sawyer, "It became a program about a lead character who was gay every single week." (I guess they thought she'd only be a part-time muncher.) Meanwhile, magazines wrote that Anne Heche should just shut up about her relationship with Ellen DeGeneresa charge they never level at garrulous straight celebs. The tabloids even tried to pair Anne up with guys again, but sorry, folksshe's gay every single week!
The Post-Gay TheoryYou Know, Queer Parades Are So Unnecessary Because We've Assimilated Into Straight SocietyTook a Slight Beating When: Matthew Shepard was brutally attacked and killed in Wyoming. Funny, "gay" seemed a significant label again.
As for "Ex-Gays" Who Feel You Can Walk Away From Your Sexuality: You always could. It's called the closet.
You've Got Mail (and Don't Want It): The latest issue of Out magazine just came to me mistakenly accompanied by a payroll list of their ad reps and how much commission they made on the October issue. Message to A.S.: You're getting about 10 percent of J.B.'s rate.