NY Mirror

Most Touching Cinema Moment: 'Vagina, vagina, vagina—does that word do anything for you?' —The Opposite of Sex

Best Movie Involving Child Molesting: Happiness

Second Best: Lolita

Worst: The Celebration
Mitch O'Connell

Best Actress: (tie) Lisa Kudrow, Christina Ricci in The Opposite of Sex

Most Touching Cinema Moment: (tie) "Dad, what does cum mean?"—Happiness; "Vagina, vagina, vagina—does that word do anything for you?"—The Opposite of Sex

The Making of the Trucker Film Black Dog: "OK, we've got Patrick Swayze and Randy Travis—that's a really solid acting duo. But for extra credibility, how about if we throw in ...Meat Loaf?"

The Year in Ellen: ABC yanked the show off, an exec telling Diane Sawyer, "It became a program about a lead character who was gay every single week." (I guess they thought she'd only be a part-time muncher.) Meanwhile, magazines wrote that Anne Heche should just shut up about her relationship with Ellen DeGeneres—a charge they never level at garrulous straight celebs. The tabloids even tried to pair Anne up with guys again, but sorry, folks—she's gay every single week!

The Post-Gay Theory—You Know, Queer Parades Are So Unnecessary Because We've Assimilated Into Straight Society—Took a Slight Beating When: Matthew Shepard was brutally attacked and killed in Wyoming. Funny, "gay" seemed a significant label again.

As for "Ex-Gays" Who Feel You Can Walk Away From Your Sexuality: You always could. It's called the closet.

You've Got Mail (and Don't Want It): The latest issue of Out magazine just came to me mistakenly accompanied by a payroll list of their ad reps and how much commission they made on the October issue. Message to A.S.: You're getting about 10 percent of J.B.'s rate.
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