By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Compare the Enforcers' role to that of the league's designated Goody Two-shoes, the Sundogs. While New York has the tarantula-loving D'Amato, Florida's got the kitten-loving Sean Marshall. "I'm very conscientious about what I do," says Marshall. "I want to be out there to win the game, to focus, but I'm not out for anybody." You mean he plays by the rules? Rules are for wusses and nonNew Yorkers. "We have no regard for the rules," growls D'Amato. "When we're on the track, you don't have a prayer."
He's just as charitable regarding the Quakes and their star blocker, Sean "Atk Attack" Atkinson. Sean's a third-generation skater whose father, Buddy, is an idol of D'Amato'sthe kind of hard-skating thug whose style he's adopted as his own. But Junior's a joke to D'Amato. "Sean Atkinson is a bloated clown," he says. "He's not a threat. He hasn't shown me anything."
The female Enforcers, who play up their Amy Fisherinspired nastiness at every turn, have even more unkind smack to talk. They have a special distaste for the Quakes' so-called "Bod Squad," the Baywatch-ready women's lineup headed by exhomecoming queen Stacey Blitsch. A leggy, curvy Iowan with pearly white teeth, Blitsch is the kind of fragile princess who would have been regularly gang-tackled in the parking lot of an Ozone Park Dunkin' Donuts by a crew of chain-smoking, fat-bottomed bad girlsthe kind of girls who'd rather slice you with a box cutter than gab about eyeliner. One gets the impression that the Enforcers didn't get asked to the junior prom at Bayside High, and they're still venting. Linda Leasure, a 115-pound aggressive terror, says the team likes to go after "the cute little blondies who are afraid to break a fingernail, worried about their makeup all the time." Her favorite anti-cutie-pie move is the "lineup block": "You kinda get a little momentum going, you wind your arm, and you flatten them. Boom! Break the nails. Their makeup's messed up!"
Being evil may be a hoot, but it will also probably doom the Enforcers to perpetual also-ran status. With outcomes as fixed as a Globetrotters-Generals contest, the golden boys of Florida will doubtless walk away with the inaugural championship trophymuch to the joy of TNN's Gotham-fearing fans. But in lieu of hoisting the hardware, the men and women in black seem content to send the occasional Quake to the emergency ward with a gut-busting elbow or to rearrange a pretty Sundog girl's face with a folding chair to the chin. And at least one Enforcer is hoping that the league's success might enable a return to the Garden. "I hope we do so bad," says Gamble, who was raised in Queens and attended Carey High School in Franklin Square. "I'm kind of hoping that some of those clowns who used to beat my ass in school will see I'm not such a little punk anymore."