NY Mirror

Instead of Not About Nightingales, the Tennessee Williams play should really be called Is About Three Hours.

A feel-bad saga about wormy people in the big house, Not About Nightingales is one of Tennessee Williams's rare straight plays (the character named the Queen notwithstanding). This intriguing exercise in "fascinated horror" is a structural mess that reeks of old George Raft movies by way of Penitentiary, though there may be enough of Williams's poetry lurking behind the self-consciously ham-bone production to make you not want to break out. But instead of Not About Nightingales, it should really be called Is About Three Hours.

The three-hour Grammy Awards marathon imprisoned some dark thoughts in my mind: Will Smith is a Central Casting version of a rapper; Madonna's geisha number was on the level of "Springtime for Hitler"; the talent should be made to perform their nominated songs, not the crap they're now promoting; and host Rosie O'Donnell may have deserved some of the strained jokes she had to tell— on her show, she's become the reactionary figure of your worst nightmares. She's mad at Calvin Klein, Marilyn Manson, and anything else she probably would have liked as a kid.

Staying within the year of the woman, my sources on the set of Grammy winner Shania Twain's latest video say that Twain's lowly extras were instructed through a rep that they were not to speak to Miss Thing unless spoken to. Why would anyone want to talk to that creature anyway?

And while we're being inquisitive, can we expect a serene expression from Babyface at this year's Oscars? Probably not, because sources claim the guy contributed a musical bridge for "When You Believe," that supposedly inspirational Prince of Egypt song whose pop version he produced, but only Stephen Schwartz is listed as a nominee. Well, apparently DreamWorks submitted the early, pre-Babyface version for "Best Original Song" because Schwartz wanted it that way. Weirdly enough, though, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston are slated to perform the tune on the awards telecast— and they do the version with the Babyface bridge!

Finally, start polishing a trophy for local drag star Michael Cavadias (a/k/a Lily of the Valley). Cavadias has just shot a choice role in the comedy Wonder Boys, starring Michael Douglas and Robert Downey Jr. Apparently, Downey meets Cavadias on a plane and thinks he's a woman— but I don't think things turn out as dramatically as in The Crying Game. There's no vomiting— or even gagging. Do I hear some raves?

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