The Roundabout revival of The Lion in Winter became extra terrifying the night I saw it, when a dim-witted audience member's cell phone kept ringing an all-too-perfect twist for a play that tries to bring historical drama down to a contemporary level. As the offender was being dragged out, Laurence Fishburne finally broke character, yelling, "You wanna turn that fuckin' phone off?" before going back to the scripted pleas and histrionics. Actually, I blame myself for this mishap I'm clearly some kind of theatrical bad omen, since I happened to have been center orchestra when Death of a Salesman's scenery got stuck, when Little Me was interrupted by a health emergency, when Speed-the-Plow was slowed by a Madonna stalker, and when the curtain for Moose Murders went up.
I wasn't there when Z100 spread juicy gossip about Ben Affleck last week, but fortunately, folks who still own radios could tell me about it. What they heard was one of the station's morning-show jocks spreading a rumor that Ben actually broke up with Gwyneth Paltrow because he's gay! A Z100 PR rep confirmed that the female DJ said this, but added, "She doesn't want to make a big deal out of it because, though she trusts her source, she isn't completely sure the info is true." Affleck's publicist, waiting on a transcript of what was said, didn't have a response by deadline. Meanwhile, I've been good willie hunting.
Finally, TV watchers have been calling to balk that the latest commercials for talking Teletubby dolls mysteriously don't feature Tinky Winky! Is this blatant homophobia or were they simply unable to decide if the doll should say, "Oh, no, we're both bottoms! Do you have a two-way strap-on?" or "Take it to the toilet, missy! I am notinto water sports!"?