NY Mirror

As to the Backstreet Boys’ sexuality, I haven’t come to any conclusions except that they’re hot in the following order: Kevin, Nick, Brian, A.J., Howie.

Some yucky gossip I picked up off the floor: Someone recently remarked to Brandy's father that he bet Brandy was really excited to work with Diana Ross on that TV movie Double Platinum. "Yeah—was," replied the dad, dryly. Another diva, Shania Twain, was anxious to pose with Madonna backstage at a glittery event recently, but my sources swear the material geisha wisely said to the photogs, "No! No!" (I'm sure if she weren't practicing spirituality these days, she would have said, "Fuck, no!")

I said yes, yes, to interviewing the fabulous Missy Misdemeanor Elliott for Interview recently, but halfway through our chat, she bizarrely interjected, "I don't talk about my sexuality or who I sleep with." Funny, I hadn't thought about her sexuality at all until then.

I've talked about the Backdoor, I mean Backstreet, Boys' sexuality, and haven't come up with any conclusions—it's not as clear-cut as with la niña loca—except that they're hot in the following order: Kevin, Nick, Brian, A.J., Howie. Too bad I had to leave their party at the Globe before they even got there because I draw the line at six-ways. At Belgo, I went one-on-one with Tom Nuyens, a lanky charmer from Antwerp who's so not twerpy he was named Mr. World in 1996. I asked Tom what the qualifications are for such a title. "TLC," he said. "Talent, looks, and charisma." I was already quite aware of the l and c, but what the hell is his t? "I speak different languages," he replied in perfect English. Hey, I could be Mr. World too—n'est-ce pas?

No penetration? Bruce LaBruce with John Waters at the Skin Flick screening
bruce La bruce
No penetration? Bruce LaBruce with John Waters at the Skin Flick screening

Of course, after A&E's Baby Beauty Queens—stay with me—I'd probably refuse the crown. The show even surpassed that classic Brit shockumentary Painted Babies in its exposé of the utter sickness of beauty pageants for the Gerber set. The monstrous mothers—all insecure, faded beauties who obviously need the competitive circus way more than the kids do—are shown bribing, cajoling, torturing, and ignoring their little JonBenets, while claiming they're dragging them through the grueling pageant process for their own good. Talk about fucking your daughters!

One final news flash: Tea With Mussolini has not been seen by a single straight person—including at the premiere

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