By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
Funny, when a Voice cover story recently branded Mayor Rudolph "Not in My Navy Yard" Giuliani a "heartless bastard," there was not much of an outcry. Perhaps it was the shock of recognition that paralyzed the letter-writing, e-mailing public. But the June 22 "Hillary Clinton Scandal Guide" had readers weighing in (and many piling on) regarding the First Lady's spotty record. While some derided the paper for joining the vast right-wing conspiracy targeting the First Family, many saluted the Voice for finally recognizing such pervasive perfidy (though suspicions remain that the story might've been a clever lefty ploy, a preemptive strike intended to blunt future examinations). Either way, we can assure you that Giuliani is happy to see his presumed Senate opponent taking the Voice lumps for a change, and is not planning to fete us soon on a Brooklyn pier. Here is a sampling of recent Hillary letters:
Absolutely loved your scandal sheet on Hillary and howled like a banshee, although I am positive this is being released to preempt the vast right-wing conspiracy's own Hillary attacks soon to come. This looks just like the myriad White House Monica and China "leaks," because everyone knows the Voice couldn't possibly conceive of supporting Rudy Giuliani in a race with Her Carpetbaggerness. Thanks for the yuks and the toilets, though!
Kingston, New York
If anything should be flushed, it is the June 22 edition of The Village Voice. I'm supporting Rudy Giuliani for the U.S. Senate, but I found your depictions of First Lady Hillary Clinton rising out of a commode and dressed as a hooker quite ghastly. Have a little more class than flatulence-obsessed prepubescent boys. I give the Voice a Toilet Bowl rating of 5 for a shit story.
After reading Hillary's scandal guide, I want you guys to know that I wiped my ass with your stinkin' rag. Even an outhouse fly knows when something smells rotten! Granted, George Stephanopoulos might be, as William Bastone describes him, "perfidious," but Bastone is an outright turd.
It's good to see your liberal bias has not blinded you to the First Enabler. I love it. As an occasional visitor to your amazing city, I'd give her 5 toilets on the carpetbag issue. As chameleon extraordinaire, isn't it obvious she's looking for the first suckers she can find to put her in office? And I never thought New Yorkers were suckers! But then again, you keep Howard Stern in business, so maybe you are.
Congratulations to the Voice and William Bastone for his superb article, and bravo to the artist who brilliantly depicted Hillary and Bill as hooker and pimp. It's a masterpiece that should be hung at the Metropolitan Museum. It once and for all establishes them for what they inarguably are: our preeminent husband-and-wife grifter team.
David A. Powers,
Pimp and Moll
Sell the picture of the Clintons as a poster! It would surpass the pinup of Farrah Fawcett from the '70s! What an illustration! The Clintons never have been depicted so accurately!
Public 'N' Us
Wow, you guys, I grew up in the '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s, etc. . . . but I always thought there were a few things that would never change in this country . . . . The Voice gone 'publikin . . . who'd a thunk it?
Whether or not one supports Hillary for the Senate seat in New York, and whether or not one believes that William Bastone's assessment of her behavior is for real, please, just admit it outright that his article was absolutely hilarious, not to mention how fab was the artful caricature of Hil and Bill! If my response is any measure, I guess we lefties do have a sense of humor after all.
Joan L. Washington,
Excellent! William Bastone's article on Hillary Clinton was a true record of some of her baggage coming into the New York Senate race. However, Bastone did miss one item that I read in an article by Mark Steyn of Britain's Daily Telegraph. He writes of Hillary telling New Zealanders that she had been named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the conqueror of Mount Everest. Later, Sir Edmund pointed out that he hadn't conquered Everest until 1953 and Mrs. Clinton was born in 1947, at which time Sir Edmund was an obscure New Zealand beekeeper. Oh well, the Clintons have never been known for letting the truth get in the way of a good story.
I am grateful for the fact that William Bastone, despite the presentation of his article, made a good effort not to make his story sound like an out-and-out Hillary-bashing session.
For one thing, Bastone rated Hillary's "Mideast Mishegoss" scandal way too low. For New York politics, it should have rated at least four toilet bowls.
Finally, I'd like to have a larger reproduction of your cover. It had me laughing like a lunatic all the way home.