By Albert Samaha
By Darwin BondGraham
By Keegan Hamilton
By Anna Merlan
By Anna Merlan
By Tessa Stuart
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
Funny, when a Voice cover story recently branded Mayor Rudolph "Not in My Navy Yard" Giuliani a "heartless bastard," there was not much of an outcry. Perhaps it was the shock of recognition that paralyzed the letter-writing, e-mailing public. But the June 22 "Hillary Clinton Scandal Guide" had readers weighing in (and many piling on) regarding the First Lady's spotty record. While some derided the paper for joining the vast right-wing conspiracy targeting the First Family, many saluted the Voice for finally recognizing such pervasive perfidy (though suspicions remain that the story might've been a clever lefty ploy, a preemptive strike intended to blunt future examinations). Either way, we can assure you that Giuliani is happy to see his presumed Senate opponent taking the Voice lumps for a change, and is not planning to fete us soon on a Brooklyn pier. Here is a sampling of recent Hillary letters:
Absolutely loved your scandal sheet on Hillary and howled like a banshee, although I am positive this is being released to preempt the vast right-wing conspiracy's own Hillary attacks soon to come. This looks just like the myriad White House Monica and China "leaks," because everyone knows the Voice couldn't possibly conceive of supporting Rudy Giuliani in a race with Her Carpetbaggerness. Thanks for the yuks and the toilets, though!
Kingston, New York
If anything should be flushed, it is the June 22 edition of The Village Voice. I'm supporting Rudy Giuliani for the U.S. Senate, but I found your depictions of First Lady Hillary Clinton rising out of a commode and dressed as a hooker quite ghastly. Have a little more class than flatulence-obsessed prepubescent boys. I give the Voice a Toilet Bowl rating of 5 for a shit story.
After reading Hillary's scandal guide, I want you guys to know that I wiped my ass with your stinkin' rag. Even an outhouse fly knows when something smells rotten! Granted, George Stephanopoulos might be, as William Bastone describes him, "perfidious," but Bastone is an outright turd.
It's good to see your liberal bias has not blinded you to the First Enabler. I love it. As an occasional visitor to your amazing city, I'd give her 5 toilets on the carpetbag issue. As chameleon extraordinaire, isn't it obvious she's looking for the first suckers she can find to put her in office? And I never thought New Yorkers were suckers! But then again, you keep Howard Stern in business, so maybe you are.
Congratulations to the Voice and William Bastone for his superb article, and bravo to the artist who brilliantly depicted Hillary and Bill as hooker and pimp. It's a masterpiece that should be hung at the Metropolitan Museum. It once and for all establishes them for what they inarguably are: our preeminent husband-and-wife grifter team.
David A. Powers,
Pimp and Moll
Sell the picture of the Clintons as a poster! It would surpass the pinup of Farrah Fawcett from the '70s! What an illustration! The Clintons never have been depicted so accurately!
Public 'N' Us
Wow, you guys, I grew up in the '60s, '70s, '80s, '90s, etc. . . . but I always thought there were a few things that would never change in this country . . . . The Voice gone 'publikin . . . who'd a thunk it?
Whether or not one supports Hillary for the Senate seat in New York, and whether or not one believes that William Bastone's assessment of her behavior is for real, please, just admit it outright that his article was absolutely hilarious, not to mention how fab was the artful caricature of Hil and Bill! If my response is any measure, I guess we lefties do have a sense of humor after all.
Joan L. Washington,
Excellent! William Bastone's article on Hillary Clinton was a true record of some of her baggage coming into the New York Senate race. However, Bastone did miss one item that I read in an article by Mark Steyn of Britain's Daily Telegraph. He writes of Hillary telling New Zealanders that she had been named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the conqueror of Mount Everest. Later, Sir Edmund pointed out that he hadn't conquered Everest until 1953 and Mrs. Clinton was born in 1947, at which time Sir Edmund was an obscure New Zealand beekeeper. Oh well, the Clintons have never been known for letting the truth get in the way of a good story.
I am grateful for the fact that William Bastone, despite the presentation of his article, made a good effort not to make his story sound like an out-and-out Hillary-bashing session.
For one thing, Bastone rated Hillary's "Mideast Mishegoss" scandal way too low. For New York politics, it should have rated at least four toilet bowls.
Finally, I'd like to have a larger reproduction of your cover. It had me laughing like a lunatic all the way home.
It Takes a Village (Voice)
I guess somebody had to blunt the inevitable attacks on Hillary with a story like this one, hey? By the time she gets to town all these petty scandals will be "old news," just like old times and she'll have the Voice to thank!
Flush In Futures
Re Hillary Clinton turning $1000 into $100,000 in cattle futures: I am a former commodities trader with quite a bit of experience, trading on the floors of two futures exchanges. Hillary's good fortune had nothing to do with luck or studying the Journal every day. The odds of someone winning consistently in the market are as good as those of a novice surviving the trials at Flushing Meadows.
Anyone who's ever worked on the floor of an exchange or in the back office of a commodities firm knows this! Starting with $1000 makes it even more unlikely because cattle futures are known to fluctuate $400 to $800 per day. If she was not protected from fluctuations, Hillary could've lost half her money by lunchtime.
New Yorkers should constantly be reminded that Hillary has been the chief enabler of a serial- philandering husband who most Americans believe is untrustworthy, a perjurer, and an obstructor of justice in a sexual-harassment lawsuit. It's hard to imagine how the self-respecting women of New York could admire her when she uses sympathy resulting from her pathetic marital relationship to advance her political agenda. Hillary is truly a weird woman who should be scorned rather than supported.
Do Wacko Do
Delightfully written article by William Bastone on Madame Hillary (Evita to we neocon wackos). Hasn't the Nation (both magazine and state) had enough of the Clintons? Isn't the failed Marxist experiment that is New York State in need of a movement back from the precipice? I give 5 toilet bowls to the whole idea of Hillary for Senate. She would need them, because that would be a movement which would fill all 5, leaving the entire state in deep doo-doo
Great piece of work, enumerating some of the baggage with which Hillary Rodham Clinton will be heading to New York. However, you might've listed that slogan from a few years ago: "Where's the beef?" There's a generalized belief that Hillary is interested in issues like education, children, etc., but if you read It Takes a Village, you'll see that what she really gets excited about is federally subsidized day care for all. The health-care fiasco came about because of the incredible overreaching her task force did, which made it vulnerable to the attacks that sunk it. In other words, she has no credentials as an effective policy maker or administrator. She can't even remember who hired Craig Livingstone!
Make It A Contest
I agree with William Bastone's description of Hillary's mind as "curious" in its meaning of "odd," "unusual," or "strange," and with the implication of "prying."
Bastone's rating sheet was not bad, but he underrated Castle Grande by at least two toilet bowls, and Vince Foster's "Mysterious Demise" by about four, if you take into consideration the sanitizing of Foster's office.
Bastone also omitted any mention of the 900 FBI files and the hiring of Craig Livingstone, surely a three- to four-bowler and maybe even a five.
Then, of course, there is the matter of Hillary's judgment: she reportedly influenced the hiring of Webb Hubbell, Janet Reno, and Madeline Albright, among others. She allowed her staff to lie on her behalf when she could have spared them by telling the truth herself.
Why don't you make a contest out of it? I'm sure your readers can come up with a lot more. But you do get an A-plus for even running the article.
Fouling Our Nest
There are not enough toilets beside Mrs. Clinton's name and they should be spewing their foul contents. I hope New Yorkers prove to be smarter than they are showing themselves to be at this point in time. Isn't there enough pollution in the area without her?