The Velocity of Gary (Not His Real Name) Directed by Dan Ireland
Calculating Gary's said velocity might give occasion to a new definition of warp speed: lumbering and misshapen, apparently stitched together from the discarded limbs of unrelated scripts. Take the film's first 20 minutes, in which deaf transsexual Kid Joey (Chad Lindberg), just off the bus to the big city, gets viciously gay-bashed a few blocks from Port Authority. Brooding beauty Gary (Thomas Jane) comes to the rescue, but following a pointless musical interlude
lip-synched to Patsy Cline's "Walkin' After Midnight," Kid Joey is hit and killed by a car. And that's it we never hear about Joey again, as the film
U-turns back to concentrate (however fitfully) on the fractious love triangle formed by Gary, Gary's lover Valentino (Vincent D'Onofrio), and Val's high-strung girlfriend Mary Carmen (Salma Hayek). Two end up with AIDS and a baby enters the picture, as we're informed through a back-and-forth narrative that would confuse even if the film weren't so atrociously directed and edited. The paper-doll characters exist solely to evoke our pity. For a cut-and-paste job this sloppy, they could at least have given the actors messier roles to play.