NY Mirror

Poor Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford, in the front row of the screening for Eyes Wide Shut, looked appalled; the film's a long, torturous meditation on adultery!

Afterward, the eight-year-old girl who'd played Rhoda in the pre-show was living the part a little too accurately, exclaiming, "Where's my money?" Even more spookily, no one could suggest a single fun thing for me to do after midnight. (Frisco's new population of Silicon Valley commuters has upped rents and short-circuited abandon.) I landed at a bar called the EndUp, but in a real Guinness-ready incident, I couldn't provide any age ID and wasn't let in! Or maybe it was my two arms and three legs that turned them off.

Back in New York, I was deemed old enough to see the Off-Broadway musical Naked Boys Singing, during which no audience member looks at any arms or legs. A friend recommended I split after the opening number, which unhesitatingly brings on the entire cast of naked and singing boys. But I stayed, and though the revue is pleasant and cleverly staged and the costumes certainly can't be faulted, the net effect doesn't have the sting one would expect from eight bare members. I'd like to see the uncut version.

Finally, not to swathe John F. Kennedy Jr. in even more layers of saintly clothing, but to me, he always came off as an amiable, perspective-laden guy who'd go out of his way to shmooze in a pleasingly jocular fashion. Even if that was just press-courting, you'd be amazed at how few public figures of his stature feel the urge to do so. Of all the media bites that emerged about John last week, the most unintentionally eerie one was W's long-lead-time plug for his flying school, which says, "The weather may be stormy inside the simulated flight training room at Flight Safety in Vero, Florida, but it didn't stop J.F.K., Jr. from earning his pilot's license!" The most intentionally ghoulish item was Steven Brill suggesting on CNN that Lady Di was less substantive a personality than John-John. So now we're going to compare celeb deaths and discredit the previous one for not being quite tragic enough? That's harrowing and scary.

musto@villagevoice.com

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