By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
While I pondered this, earth tones hit the sky in a fireworks display narrated by George Plimpton ("This is dedicated to the advertisers....") as Donna Karanscurried for a better view, exulting, "I'm a sucker for fireworks!" But suddenly the sound system crackled with Queen Latifahsaying, "All youse very important people, come near the stage." By the time I got there, Talk's publisher Ron"Puffy" Galottiwas rapping about the magazinebut then Tina "Misdemeanor" Brown took over, wouldn't youse know, saying, "Ron is sometimes known as Mr. Big, but to me he's Mr. Enormous!" I guess we're talking thick-cut bacon.
In the crowd, Conan O'Brien was rubbing Willem Dafoe's shaved head; Jeremy Northam was telling me that after I quoted him saying "Cate Blanchett's brilliant. I hate her"chortle, chortle, chortlethe British press twisted it into a realfeud; and Dr. Ruthwho was notthe basis for Mini-mewas screeching, "Where are the gift bags? Where are the freebies?" I almost gave her that Bendel gift certificate, but basically didn't want to.
In Manhattan again, no free coupons came for the huge bomb Drop Dead GorgeousNew Line's taken me off their list, even though I'm one of the few media people who can standtrash like thisbut even after paying, I have to say the flick isn't nearly as rotten as the critics said. Yes, it's scattershot and condescending, but it's one of the livelier satires around, and besides, some showings are turning into gay cruise parties.
Speaking of fun trash, the National Examinerjust had an especially intriguing headline: "Rosie O'Donnell's Love...rescues Wynonna Juddafter painful divorce." The accompanying article reported that Rosie and Wynonna have a lot in common, like the fact that they're both single moms who ride Harleys. Wynonna's quoted as saying, "When I leave Rosie, I need to take a nap," and Rosie, in turn, says Wynonna taught her how to pinch her own butt to sing a low note. Maybe k.d. langcould teach her to reach those high notes. Now what are my options? firstname.lastname@example.org