By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Talk to some women and you'd think it's a miracle that any female ever gets laid wearing a Miracle Bra. For every tale of unbridled passion inspired by satin, these women can tell a story of getting their knickers in a twist when it comes to sexy underthings. Straps and lace seem to form the intersection where love meets money, and that can't be a good thing. Here are a few words from bedmates who lived to tell:
JULIE, 61, SOUTH SHORE Sexy lingerie does more for you than a dress. I'd always buy a black lace bustier with garter belts hanging off. I liked to wear it with a low-cut top so when I bend over my breasts looked enormous. I'd push my skirt way up so a guy would see the garter belt and get all hot and bothered. I'd wear a black lace bra under a white sheer blouse. Never, never wear a white lace bra. Then I would wear black lace panties with green or red trim and a crack up the middle, so the guy didn't have to work too hard to put it in.
I practiced taking my clothes off like Gypsy Rose Lee because I think it's a woman's job to be a slut. I think it's a woman's job to know how to please a man no-holds barred. After all, the king of England gave up the throne for a piece of ass. When I wore this for my boyfriend, I'd bend over and he used to fuck me in the kitchen.
ERIC, 23, CENTER MORICHES I used to wear black-and-white striped thigh highs with a black lace garter belt, a fishnet shirt and a black skirt. Underneath the skirt, I wouldn't be wearing anything. I was with my ex-girlfriend and I'd dance up against her at Detour. She was totally opposite me-very straight-laced. I like to tease her a lot. As I was driving home, she was in the passenger seat, she would play around and lift up the skirt, giving me a hand job or a blow job up to the point where I would come close to coming, but she wouldn't let it. We pretty much ran right into the house.
She would handcuff my hands to the bed board and take the skirt off so pretty much all I would have on was the garter belt and stockings. She would sit on top of me and jerk me off. We used to use hot wax. She would have the candle in one hand, jerk me off with the other and pour the wax onto my nipples. It's incredible. People think it hurts; it doesn't-it's erotic. Did you ever put your hand in wax? It's not hot hot. Instead of being intensely painful, it would reverse and be intensely pleasurable. She tried once putting the hot wax on my dick. It was almost orgasmic.
CAROLYN, 29, UNIONDALE My fiancée bought me a navy blue corset that's a little sheer with a robe and thigh highs for Valentine's Day. I haven't worn it since, but I'll wear it for him again on our honeymoon. He likes those thigh highs. If I just wore those, he'd be thrilled. But one time my boyfriend bought me a bra with size A cups. I'm a D. I was like, "What is this?" That was the biggest nightmare.
REBECCA, 29, MINEOLA I had the cheesy shitty stuff in high school. Really lacey and gross. I always found lingerie didn't do what it was supposed to do. That was with men though, because they have this idea that lingerie is supposed to do something and they have this image of what it's supposed to look like. But for my birthday this year my girlfriend bought me this Calvin Klein sheer white thing-a simple tank top and a matching thong-that we both thought was sexy. I put it on and we had great sex.
RICK, 38, FARMINGDALE I love lingerie, baby dolls and all that. I used to shop for all my ex-wife's lingerie. I'm not embarrassed to go in a store and pick something out. One outfit was a g-string, tight baby doll, silk and satin lilac. I seen it, I liked it, I fell in love with it, I bought it. Spur of the moment. She was voluptuous, 36D.
It was wild. I soaked her body in hot baby oil and gave her a massage. That's something I like to do. I can say she had multiple orgasms. I had a nice bottle of wine. This was something I unfortunately don't get to do often. But there was this one particular girl I bought three outfits for. We were together two years. I never saw one. Total waste of time.
VINCE, 40, TRIBECA I have a real problem with women who look cheap. I worked in this office space owned by Show World. We'd see girls and transvestites dressed for work in tight panties and bras on the elevator. That's why it doesn't turn me on. There was like 100 of them on the streets as soon as it got dark. The long nightgowns are classier. My ex-wife used to wear them.
After my divorce, a girl asked me, "Do you want to go to this Halloween party?" We go to this store in the Village. She bought a cat suit, handcuffs and a whip. She says one part of her costume was borrowed from the pet store. When we got to her house, she had a harness for a dog. She asked me to harness her in this thing, but she had all her clothes on. Fine. Then she gets the handcuffs. At that point, I tell her this story that I'm allergic to her cats and I'll wait for her downstairs.
AMANDA, 29, KINGS PARK My ex-boyfriend and I went to a Knicks game and I wore a red g-string and teddy under a red dress. It had the garter belts attached to it and I would wear the red stockings with the red high heels. We were in one of the skyboxes at the Garden. I think they were up by one. It was the end of the first quarter and I was sitting on one of the chairs. The dress had a split up the side and he saw the garter belts. I got up and went to the bathroom and he followed. There was like 15 of his friends in this box.
He followed me to the bathroom and knocked on the door. He said, "What are you wearing underneath that dress?" When I opened the dress, all you saw was the teddy. The dress ended up on the floor somewhere. He picked me up and put me on the sink. He kept covering my mouth because I kept getting louder and louder. At least I think his friends couldn't hear. He took me down and bent me over and did me doggie style. God, he could go at for at it least a half hour before coming. We went in the end of the first quarter and got out probably the beginning of the fourth. When we walked out, his friends were all there, clapping.