Koch, in a loud tie and suspenders, had an assistant sit in on the interview and also taped the whole encounter himself. (Well, the man's a lawyer.) "It's wrong to convey that Giuliani's a racist," he insisted. "He's nasty to everybody, but it's not on racial or ethnic grounds." And though Rudy may be an equal-opportunity offender, Koch likes the guy's new Times Square and says it didn't make sense "to preserve it as a place for prostitution, criminality, and tawdriness." (Gee, why not?) He even backs the Saint Patty's Day exclusion of gays, pointing out that the court determined it's a religious parade and as such can restrict who can march. Well, Koch can't march to The People's Court anymore, having lost the ratings battle to Judge Judy's more showboating style. "Judysaid, 'If I don't like the law, I'll apply my own laws,' " Koch told me. "I didn't agree with that. But the people like it, and I'm not criticizing her or the people. It is, after all, a theatrical event. It doesn't
purport to be a real court, though the decisions are binding." And he likes Judy; he once appointed her as a family court judge and also named her husband as a criminal court judge. In a bizarre new development, the husband is now replacing Koch on The People's Court! They can always battle it out on Judge Joe Brown.
I replaced my own bowling urge with one last party-the Marylou's one for All the Little Animals, a Jeremy Thomas?directed flick with Christian Bale as an outcast who bonds with John Hurt: Nasty Man. I told Thomas I'd just come from Jakob the Liar, the Robin Williams flick that's like Patch Adams Does the Holocaust, and he said, "I'm allergic to him. I used to be a fan, but he's too prolific." Well, how about Bale? Did Thomas ever confuse him with Edward Furlong? "Only when the lights were off," he said, then explained, "The voice is similar." At this point, the voice of Jaid Barrymore interjected, "Drew liked Christian when she was 12, and I think he liked her back. She's very self-possessed! I mean, she's producing Charlie's Angels!" Wait-don't give away the ending.