NY Mirror

More pressingly, was I reading too much into Ben Affleck's lines about his relationship with fellow fallen angel Matt Damon? In the flick, Ben's character insists, "We're not lovers.... Do I come off as gay?"—which I assumed was an in-joke that sprung out of all those very-good-will-hunting rumors. Actually, said Smith, "the script was written back in '94. But Ben does handle all those questions really well, saying, 'If I was gay, you'd know about it because I'd be chugging cock!' " "Chugging cock? Oh, yes, that's what we gays do," I said, drolly. "Yes, I know," deadpanned Smith, adding, "I'm speaking empirically, of course." He must not have been to Singapore.

Finally, let's chug some Heinies, flick the TV dial with a limp wrist, and reveal that Ruby Wax's Lifetime show, in which she camps and vamps it up across America, is pure, priceless hilarity; Queen Latifah's please-forgive-me begathon is a deadening snooze; poor David Bowie looked lost on Saturday Night Live; and, despite that overly solicitous host, Inside the Actors Studio is a penetrating glimpse into the technique of everyone from Glenn Close to, you heard me, Jerry Lewis. Yeah, you get to crawl into their minds—and it's perfectly legal.

musto@villagevoice.com

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