By Steve Weinstein
By Bryan Bierman
By Lindsey Rhoades
By Chaz Kangas
By Ben Westhoff and Sarah Purkrabek
By Jena Ardell
By Jesse Sendejas Jr.
By Katherine Turman
Anyway, the new album is the best. It's right up there with the greats: Red Lorry Yellow Lorry and the Leather Nun. I love how the two CDs are entitled "Left" and "Right." It's like the left one represents aggression and sadness, and the right one represents anger and depression. And I love how "Please" is like Skinny Puppy without any of their icky bits about dead animals and boring politicians. It's about real life! Especially when you sing, "All the fleshAll the sinThere was a time when it used to mean just about everything." And "Where is Everybody?" is almost like your own wicked version of rap. When you bust a move and sing, "Pleading and needing and bleeding and breeding and feeding exceeding," I want to shout, "You go boy!" (Do you like rap?) Too bad most "normal" people couldn't begin to understand the depths of your tragic soul. You expose yourself to the world! Your songs sound like a hundred guitars are playing an elegy for the madness of humanity. Just don't wait another five years to put out another masterpiece, or you will have to compete with the new Guns N' Roses album. (Ha Ha Ha)
Yours in blood, One devoted fan
PS: My friend Baron Olaf says your new haircut makes you look like that Garth Brooks comedy character, Chris Gaines. But the Baron is so lame.