As everyone shoveled in borscht, blotted their Sephora products, and snuck peeks at the book to see if they were mentioned, techno wiz Mobygushed to me, "This is the most impressive New York interior I've ever seen!" (I guess he's never been inside John Malkovich's head.) Moby was also impressed by the nearby Simon LeBon, enthusing, "He has a full head of hair. I'm jealous!" (The place's restoration was apparently really exhaustive.) Even LeBon's bandmate Nick Rhodes turned out to be neither follicly challenged nor differently sound-bite abled. Did Rhodes used to get free food when he came to the Tea Room? "It depended on what suitors brought me here," he admitted. Is the VH1 show Duran Duran's working on a Behind the Music? "No, we already did thatdreadful show," he said, wincing. "They should call it Can I See Your Warts, Please?" Whatever they call it-The Story of Pus?-just get out of my way and let me watch.
As for all those celebrities who suddenly want to be president, sorry, people, but it's not exactly an entry-level position. (As long as you're giving it a whirl, though, can I see your warts, please?) And moving on to marketing campaigns, fun guy Calvin Kleinhas turned up lately at a delightful little East Village playpen called the Cock. He must have discarded the invite that said "Come to Pussy!"