NY Mirror

At the Interview-hosted party at Hush, Flawless's writer-director Joel Schumacher—whom I'll always love for having done St. Elmo's Fire—told me he's never personally attempted drag because "I'd make a really ugly girl." That never stopped . . . well, let me not name names. As a fine man, does the out Schumacher have love in his life these days? "I have sex," he said. "I don't know if it's love." I have neither—except for the Russian Jehovah's Witness midget on my knee right now—but that's OK because, as Schumacher related, "An old man told me, 'Put your dick in your work.' " Wow—Joel Schumacher knows President Clinton?

Finally, a trio of male suitors on their knees singing "Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick"—as in the name—was put in the work called Kiss Me, Kate by Cole Porter himself, a shtick that's faithfully preserved in the new Broadway production. Of course, if this were Cabaret or Annie Get Your Gun, they'd be fellating each other and winking at the audience, but for all of its naughty bawdiness (there's lots of leg-spreading and the gangsters wiggle their tushes on the word "Coriolanus"), this is a revival, folks, not a revisal. Though that means there's not much reinvention or revelation going on, at least they trust the material enough to serve it up with a professional sparkle. Far from just another op'nin' of another show, Kate '99 is a buoyant retro romp that released the whorish tension of thisHortensio, wink wink. And that's coming from a lonely, ugly drag queen!

musto@villagevoice.com