By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
At the gigunda Harper's Bazaar bash at the Robert Miller Gallery, there were no grateful rape victimsonly gleeful fashionistas lining up to vehemently air kiss the mag's new editor, Kate Betts. They were all wearing black and playing that party gameyou know, you snub everyone until they say hello first, and then you gush over them as if no one else ever mattered. I took a number, then asked Betts if she agrees with what Gwyneth Paltrow says in the magthat fashion's the only way women can express themselves on a daily basis. "No, not the only way," she said. "Let me list the ways!" Well, one way would be to tell me whether she saw the Page Six item anticipating a possible catfight at the party between Betts and her ex-boss, Anna Wintour. "Oh, yeah," Betts said, mildly amused. "I mean, please!" I took that to mean there would indeed be a vicious brawl involving lots of flying Prada, so I fled in a panic.
Even quicker than they scan Monica Lewinsky's new body on those Jenny Craig commercials, I went uptown for the Downtown party for Paper, which at least was sit-down. Model Karen Elson is semiexposed and seemingly elongated on the mag's cover, but at this Brasserie event, she told me it's all her. "Fuck yeah, it's my body!" she declared. "And I'm not ashamed of it. I might as well show it while I'm young!" It's the only way women can express themselves on a daily basis.
Everyone was covered up again at the Holy Smoke party at Nicole's, that department-store boîte where, having nabbed a pricey ensemble, you can promptly flaunt it over veal sausages. Famed (for other places) restaurateur Drew Nieporent told me that Nicole's got two stars in the Times, but then, "their new food critic can't count past two." Nieporent gave this bash higher marks, especially when Kate Winslet entered and he blurted, "They said she was too heavy for the Titanic, but if you ask me, she's got it in all the right places tonight!" And she's not ashamed of it!
That was clearly the best recent night out for heteros and foodand tramping around town in a tutu has helped me uncover some other high points of modern life. Ready? The best cruise spot is the main listening wall at the downtown Virgin Megastore. Simply strap on your headphones, shake your bon-bon to Macy Gray, and throw a wanton smile at the person next to you (unless they're listening to Jewel). Before you know it, you'll be making beautiful music togetheror at least you've gotten to tighten your culo and hear a few free tracks.
The most bizarre new cooking/chat show is the one hosted by Ainsley Harriott, that British creature who, after telling us how his wife and kids are his whole world, minces around the kitchen in a flamboyantly wrist-flapping way that makes RuPaul look like Ving Rhames. Harriottwho was discovered by Merv Griffinshoots his show, appropriately enough, at the Chelsea Piers (and actually, it's an occasionally funsy romp).
From the kitschy kitchen to the awful office, the wackiest newish excursion in theater is Becky Mode's Fully Committed, with the amazing Mark Setlock as a restaurant reservations clerk and all his tormentors. When I called for comps, I was aptly told that the play was fully committed that week. It was worth waiting for, deliciously littered as it is with references to "global fusion cuisine" and "Mr. Zagat's headcheese," not to mention relentless digs at Naomi Campbell. It's a fabulously droll commentary on the hollow absurdity of myI mean thatcrowd, but though I give it way more than two stars, next time I want an even better seat, with more flattering lighting!
The most popular new East Village restaurantand it's not the one Fully Committed's based onis Leshko's, the former beloved Polish dive, which is now a sleek and lively trendoid spot courtesy of the Barracuda guys. The global fusion food is tangy and there's still an occasional pierogi to remind you of the days before gentrification.