NY Mirror

There's another pilot called Homecoming Queen, in which Brett Butlerfinally gets out of prison after having cut the ear off her ex-husband's then girlfriend. It is not based on fact. Meanwhile, PAX TV is drumming up Docwith Billy Ray Cyrusas a New York HMO physician from Nebraska—though naturally it'll be shot in Toronto. Sound like an achy breaky bomb? Maybe not, but it's definitely a work in regress.

In the movie world, Emmanuelle 2000 is an upcoming seven-part series of features which official descriptions say "has a sci-fi bend [sic] to it, similar to Being John Malkovich." But I bet people will be diving into her snatch rather than her head.

May I end with some things that make me very happy? All About "All About Eve"is the liveliest, dishiest book ever written about the wittiest movie of all time. The lead singer of Incubuswhines so petulantly, but oh so cutely, don't you think, especially in acoustic performances? (Pardon me while I burn, indeed.) And, finally, I loved hearing from my sources that, in her first TV-show taping last week, Dr. Laura Schlessinger—who has the IQ of a cow skull—asked the audience if they'd go to a shower for an illegitimate baby and was worked when most of them said yes! That's one for the bastard, zero for the bitch.

musto@villagevoice.com

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