By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
"You're goin' for a ride, baby," drawls Chris Doody, waggling a 5-wood at an obstinate little spheroid. The tall, 41-year-old North Carolinian takes a healthy cut, but his good leg slips out a bit on the follow through. The sliced shot leaves him a long approach over drink to a distant par-5 green. "Just not hittin' the way I want to. That's all right, I can still bogie and maybe par." His frown disappears as he waves his arms at welcome relief"Hey, beer girl!" The server calls out that she'll be over in a minute, but Doody's already in motionhigh-tech, Star Wars-like prosthesis hanging loose over the side of an electric cart now on a cross-fairway charge. "I'll come to you. I'm thirsty."
It's sticky hot in Manorville for the final 18 of the Eastern Amputee Golf Association's (EAGA) Long Island Classic. At least it's not raining. And what's a little weather, anyway? Doody's motored all the way up I-95 from Wilmington with the hopes of winning this thing ("I'm the best golfer here," he claims), and now, too many strokes back, he's determined to enjoy himself. "I got whacked pretty good," he says of the car accident (and drunk driver) that cost him his leg in 1983, "but this here is fun. I wish I hadn't choked so much. These guys inspire me."
As they do each other. Between unsatisfactory pokes and moments of self-reproach ("you no-touch dawwwgg," "you stupid shit"), the voluble Doody pumps up his playing partners with encouragement ("smooth one out there, buddy,") mixed with lighthearted trash talk ("you rockin' sockin' robot"). "Comin' after you, big man," he'd barked earlier at above-the-knee amputee Paul Sheehan (Vietnam), during the veteran's lights-out opening round of 78. But there'd be no catching Sheehan, a linebacker-sized, genial gent with a creaking artificial leg and the green-side touch of a surgeon. "He [Doody] was on a mission to beat us Yanks," laughs the winner afterward, his accent straight from the Hopkington, Massachusetts, fishery where he works. "But I played good. It's relaxing playing with your amputee brothers. Everybody's in the same boat; everybody walks like you. Right now my stump feels fine."
There was no shortage of amazing storiesgolf or otherwiseon hand at the Pine Hills golf course last week. Yes, zillions of able-bodied hackers know for a fact that the game is tough enough. Yes, most piss and moan their way through the sunniest of outings. I am notTiger Woods, the refrain goes (nor even disabled Casey Martin, who's still battling the mean-spirited PGA for the right to use a cart). But if you don't think that's all relative, consider EAGA women's winner Kellie Valentine, a 29-year-old Pennsylvania graduate student who, with one arm (car accident), plays to a 16 handicap and flat-out creams her tee shots.
"If he wants to stop in the middle of the fairway, I'll hit him," she shrugs before crushing a one-armed drive not far from an oblivious, stationary mower, some 220 yards out. "You know what they say: 'Oh, they'll never reach us.' "
After problems with a downhill lie, Valentine squirts a tricky pitch to 15, 20 feet. Seeing this, a course ranger gushes, "Nice shot!" Valentine knows better, but thanks him anyway, before two-putting for a bogie. On the very next hole, a 125-yard par-3, she flies a mid-iron pin high, then nails her sidehill eight-footer for birdie. She and cart-mate Kim Mecca, an arm-amputee (industrial accident) mother of four, high-five each other with smiles wider than the sand traps they've just cleared.
By smacking the ball backhanded (left-armed), Valentine and Mecca, who often play together competitively, appear to defy traditional swing dynamics. "You have to use more of your body," explains Valentine. "The power we generate is not from the arm but from the hip turn. If you look at Tiger's huge turn, that's how you generate clubhead speed. Once you get your timing down, it's not that hard."
Timing and balance are crucial for amputee golfers, many of whom marvel at each other's techniques. Keith Johansen, the event's 50-year-old defending champion, plays one-armed (birth) with a more traditional righty, forehanded approach and shakes his head at the ladies' deliveries. "I don't know how they do it," he says. "I'd burn my shoulder out if I tried that." Of his own swing, Johansen says that he has to constantly remind himself to control the right elbow and "keep the left side moving through as if you had an arm there."
While Sheehan calls one-armed golfers "awesome from 80 yards in," he says that his particular problemand that of many fellow high-leg amputeesstems from not being able to shift weight. "I'm an arm swinger, but if my drive stays in the fairway, I can score." Sheehan just about bows before his pal Jim Wegrzyn, a 36-year-old double-leg amputee with only his thumbs and a couple of odd fingers left on either hand: "It's amazing. There's nothing under him, but Jimmy can kill the ball." Wegrzyn, who lost his extremities due to a misdiagnosed blood infection, admits that he tends to "slide a lot. I can't follow through, but I'm OK when I plant my feet." Both feet are, of course, artificial and attached to the end of prosthetic legs.