Fantasizing about being an X-rated star? The Learning Annex (371-0280) will help you get paid for your favorite activity—sex. Porn queen extraordinaire Candida Royalle takes you under her wing and gives you a behind-the-scenes look at the pornography industry, how to find top agents, get auditions, and more—all in one session on September 13, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. Cost: $39 for members, $59 for nonmembers. I'll see you there.


Spend your evenings this fall at the New York Film Academy (674-4300), where a 12-week workshop covers the techniques of writing, directing, editing, and cinematography. A course runs Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., beginning approximately every three months. Your chance has arrived to become the next Kevin Smith. —Jason Pierce

finance

Philip Marlowe's finances always seemed pretty shaky, but you might fare better after learning "How to Be a Private Eye" at the Learning Annex (371-0280, www.thelearningannex. com, September 12, $39 for members). Arguably an even more dangerous way to augment your finances is to "Become an Electronic Daytrader" (August 29, $39). Discount for members.


Unlike Sherlock Holmes, today's freelancers have to worry about taxes, health insurance, and retirement income. The New School's "Financial Strategies for the Self-Employed" (229-5600, www.nsu.newschool.edu, $75) may be of help. And today's detectives need wheels, which is where "Wheeling and Dealing: Buying a Car Wisely" ($42) comes in.


Whereas Cadfael, the sleuthing medieval monk, lived in a monastery, the luckier of us will one day dwell in a house of our own. For first-time home buyers, the Open Housing Center's (231-7080) HUD- and FHA-approved workshop explains the intricacies (four weeks, October 11 to November 1, $25, or $30 for two people). —J. Yeh


international study

Longing to feel like an urban nomad? Head for www.studyabroad.com/ suny, where the State University of New York promises you the world. With enough destinations to rival a travel agency (over 51 countries), SUNY offers 291 overseas study programs, ranging from two- to three-week intensive courses to an entire semester or academic year abroad.


The School for International Training (800-336-1616) is your ticket to over 40 countries. Become a participant in one of SIT's 56 College Semester Abroad programs. You'll get the opportunity to earn college credit while learning firsthand—through interdisciplinary study on five continents—about our diverse world.


Apply for one of Columbia University's programs and let Beijing, Italy, Berlin, or Paris become your personal classroom. Drawing upon the resources of the city, each program will help you gain both the knowledge and the confidence to live and communicate in a foreign-speaking environment. For more info, call 854-2820. —Ioana Veleanu

language


The New School (229-5353) holds classes in 17 languages, from Arabic to Ukrainian. Besides basic, intermediate, advanced, and intensive courses, there are unique subjects like "Italian Short Stories," "The Language of Brazilian Songs," and "Spanish for Social Workers." Prices range from $205 to $710.


The Language Center at Pace University/World Trade Institute (888-PACE-WTI, www.pace.edu) may hold your key to Korea, Cuba, or that hottie that hangs out at the bodega, with affordable lunchtime and evening instruction in 10 languages. All courses are $325. Private and semiprivate instruction are also available ($45 per hour and up).


NYU's School of Continuing Education (998-7171, www.scps. nyu.edu) covers 25 languages, including unusual offerings like Cantonese, Gaelic, Polish, Persian, and two types of Arabic, and offers programs in translation studies and court interpreting. The average tuition is $485. Registration begins August 7. —Bryan Zimmerman

music

Tribal Soundz (673-5992, www. folkartbazaar.com) not only sells exotic music but can teach you how to make it yourself. Upcoming classes include sitar, didgeridoo, dumbek—a form of Middle Eastern drum—and "Dances of the Voice" with Marie Afonso of Zap Mama. Stop by 340 East 6th Street or e-mail tribalsoundz@hotmail.com to join the mailing list. All classes are $15.


The New School's Mannes College of Music (580-0210, ext. 243, www. mannes.edu) offers a wide range of continuing-education and credit classes, from classical ensembles and private lessons to courses in history and jazz theory. Classes begin September 18, but space is limited, so sign up early. Prices vary by class.


Ainegua's Wholistic Voice Training (260-9884) is at once highly disciplined and spontaneous, a meeting of body and spirit in the voice. An experienced singer, Ainegua relies on improvisation and body movement to "crack open the instrument" and get in touch with one's feelings. She is a demanding teacher, but then again, some of her students are touring the world. $60 for an initial meeting, $200 for a month of lessons. Her studio is at 310 East 6th Street, No. 19. —Matthew J. Purdy

nature

Yearning for adventure? Join Outdoor Bound, Inc., for a day of canoeing on the Wading River in South Jersey on September 17. A $65 fee covers van transport, equipment, and instruction. For reservations, call Seth Steiner at 505-1020.


Tour one of the state's great natural attractions—geological wonders formed thousands of years ago during the glacial age—at the Natural Stone Bridge and Caves near Lake George. Admission—$8.50 for adults and $4.50 for children—is for an entire season. Call 518-494-2283 or visit www.stonebridgeandcaves.com.


"Wildman" Steve Brill will lecture on Edible and Medicinal Mushrooms of the Northeast Sunday, September 24, from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m., at the New York Botanical Garden. Topics include: how to recognize and harvest common mushrooms, why mushrooms work, and how to avoid poisonous fungi. $42 for members, $46 for nonmembers. To register, call 718-817-8747.—Wista Jeanne Johnson

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