By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
A Louisiana pre-Nam boot camp circa 1971, as imagined by repentant hack Joel Schumacherthe unknown cast and minuscule budget are supposed to signal integrity. Name actors and glossy production values are not the problem with Joel Schumacher movies.
Urban Legends: Final Cut
Can there be a a thin drop left of anemic blood in po-pomo slasher decon? And could it be sucked from the chicken neck to a sequel nobody was waiting for?
Woman on Top
Doe-eyed Spanish pepper Penélope Cruz hits America in the lead of this frothy batch of formula, as a Brazilian cook escaping to San Francisco, making friends with drag queens, and struggling toward chef superstardom.
Best in Show
Twilight: Los Angeles
Barenaked in America
The tag line is all you need: "Sometimes you have to give up the life of your dreams, to discover the dream of your life." Ensuring maximum treacle carnage for this beauty-pageant "satire," Sally Field directs.
The Broken Hearts ClubA Romantic Comedy
Variously described as a gay Big Chill and a millennial Boys in the Band. Consider yourself warned.
Karyn Kusama's gritty but clumsy Sundance hit about girl boxing in Red Hook bears the great weight of buzz on its shoulders, but if you don't expect much, it may pay off.
Remember the Titans
Crime boss Ben Kingsley lures ex-con Ray Winstone out of retirement in this invariably Lock-Stock-ish crime caper, given requisite flash by Jonathan Glazer, best known for his Radiohead underpass-collision clip.
Is Adam Garcia, stage star of London's Saturday Night Fever, the new John Travolta or the new Jennifer Beals? Here he's an Australian steelworker who pursues a tap-dancing career. Like a maniac, maniac on the floor, no doubt.
Tours the brief history of computer animation with a "saucy synthetic hostess" named Phig, voiced by Jenna Elfman.
Digimon: The Movie
Like Pokémon, only digital, we presume.
Gratuitous remake of the hard-boiled 1971 Brit-noir that earned Mike Hodges (surprise indie success story of this year with smash hit Croupier) his cult rep. For some reason, Stephen T. Kay, who last made The Mod Squad, directs, and Sylvester Stallone takes the Michael Caine role.
Meet the Parents
Requiem for a Dream
Pi's indie cherry bomb Darren Aronofsky takes on Hubert Selby Jr.'s novel and sets out to make a normal, albeit druggy, movie. With Jared Leto and Jennifer Connelly as two of those really, really beautiful junkies.
Two Family House
A pair of clans unexpectedly come together in this Sundance Audience Award winner.
Whispers: An Elephant's Tale
The Red Stuff
Leo De Boer's amused doc visits with the last living icons of Soviet self-celebration, the cosmonauts from the early '60s, and swathes them in archival visions of Red festoonery. On a Film Forum double bill with Aki Kaurismaki's Total Balalaika Show, in which the Leningrad Cowboys join the Red Army Choir for a concert in Helsinki.
The Animal Factory
Already smirking through daydream-believer poses on posters blanketing Lower Manhattan, Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck ask us to fall in love all over again, with them. The premise sounds like another Random Hearts; Paltrow will be sure to do lots of tearless crying.
A sex scandal returns to haunt a female vice presidential candidate. Given Rod Lurie's last thudding attempt at political commentary (the war-what-is-it-good-for sermon Deterrence), this could be less diverting than the real contest.
A lad in north-England coal-mining country follows his dream by joining a dance class. A likely bid for Full Monty?esque middle-class Anglo cockle-warmer of the season.