NY Mirror

I left the apartment for an open rehearsal of the splashy musical version of The Full Monty—I'm unfulfilled. That's why I like dancing—which isn't a new idea; as the producer reminded us, Billy Crystaldid a short musical spoof of the movie at the Oscars to the tune of Hello, Dolly! But this is the full, well, monty—though it remains to be seen if the complete package will be a truly inspired adaptation that'll have us drinking warm water or the kind of thing that made me allergic to T.S. Eliot. The choreographer is the guy who put me way at the end of the line in both a Cyndi Laupervideo and the hoedown scene in the Jeffreymovie, so he must know what he's doing. And one number they showed us, in which the working-class guys realize they could adapt Michael Jordan's court moves to their tighty-whitey dance routine, was a real wowser, both sensational and touching. Alas, though I'm unfulfilled, I don'tdo basketball.

I do expos, though, like the Gay Life Expo at the Javits Center—"downstairs and all the way to the back," instructed a guard—where you were targeted by insurance salesmen, a monogamy magazine, and a lesbian sculptor, as a motley batch of dance divas and drag queens performed in the corner. Club promoter Marc Berkleywas busy hawking his The Chelsea Boy Coloring Book, which has a picture of a jockstrapped stud slipping a bottle of steroids to a pal, with the subtitle "The gym is an ideal source for nutritional supplements." Quick, Chelsea moms—get out the swabs!

The creamy, not drab, Julie Walters, star of Titanic Town and Billy Elliot
photo: Brian Finke
The creamy, not drab, Julie Walters, star of Titanic Town and Billy Elliot


musto@villagevoice.com

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