Where the Action Isn’t

PRIZE TURKEY

JESSICA SIMPSON
Sweet Kisses(Columbia)
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Simpson is a blonde who got out of cheerleading early to prepare herself for whatever show business offered—game-show sidekick, R-rated remake of Debbie Does Dallas, bond trader seeking trophy wife. What she got was a John Cougar sample and the hard-earned ability to carry a tune. We know teenpop is rarely as vapid, prefab, and faux-wholesome as gatekeepers who've barely listened to it claim. So let's not tell them about this "refreshing blend of pop, R&B and [note copywriter getting desperate] gospel-flavored sounds." D

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ORGY
Vapor Transmission(Elementree/Reprise)
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Aiming to fill the Queenhole by injecting video-game sci-fi and radio-head sonics into a pop-metal base, the Korn protégés forge a "startling vision of a future world in which communications technology has been turned against us, becoming a tool for government surveillance rather than personal convenience." Gosh, how'd they think of that? Heavy is a mission with them, I guess. Glam too, you should see their costumes—Bowie does Star Trek, 1974. When it gets this silly it can be fun sometimes. So who's laughing? C