By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Back in New York, New Yorkthe real onethere are our own glitzy tourist attractions to roll around in, like the new edition of Forbidden Broadway, which is acid-tinged and mordant but somehow loving, and I loved it right back. A spoof unto itself, Jane Eyrewritten and directed, I swear, by the guy who codirected Siegfried and Roy's Vegas showis a torture, from its wobbly beginning ("My name is Jane Eyre, gentle audience") to its shoddy lyrics ("All my pulses are racing, I cannot sleep/A precipice is daring me to leap"). It's all handsomely designed but so uninspired that I jumped the precipice at intermission before Jane could err any more.
Billy Connolly's show at the Westbeth was a little too cute and self-consciously kinetic for my taste, though the audience was rollingand helaughs at his jokes too. In Oscar-derby land, All the Pretty Horses has a more measured tone, which Billy Bob Thorntonexplained at the premiere by saying he was in "one of the loudest movies ever made" and wanted this one to be dramatically different. Naturally, he meant Armageddon, which was even more ear-piercing than the sex flings he has with Angelina Jolieabout every five minutes.
At the Glammy Awards for drag excellence, the crowd orgasmed over Edie's intricately choreographed holiday production number, which out-Vegased Vegas and made those Gap commercials look like a dinner-theater dry run. They also got moist for the Backdoor Boys, four heartthrobby drag kings who played with each other's prosthetic penises as they sweetly crooned "I Want It That Way."
Meanwhile, the Bushfamily might not want it this way, but Family First is the South Park guys' upcoming Comedy Central sitcom based on the presidential family. Interestingly, I've learned that the twin daughters of the show's prez will practice a rather extreme form of sisterly "love." Vulgar? Yeah, but so is Vegas, and I'm going back there soon.