Word Problems

Solve for Sex

I turned 21 in July 1997 and in August I lost my virginity. If it is now 2001, how many more years have I lived as a virgin than as "not-a-virgin"?

That year I worked in a vintage-clothing store. The cost of an average dress there was $35. My least favorite customer bought one dress a week. If I worked there for one year and seven months, during which time I never bought any dresses, how much less money did I spend on dresses than my least favorite customer?

In August of 1997, I lost my virginity to a very nice man. I never had sex with him again. In October, I had sex for the second time, with a different man. If the condom we used that October was bought the day I lost my virginity, and it expired a year from the day it was bought, how much longer would that condom have stayed penis-ready, assuming it was stored at room temperature?

When I was 18, I had a serious boyfriend for one year. In October of 1997, this boyfriend—The Ex—walked into my store. If I broke up with The Ex in August of 1995, how long had we been broken up?

The Ex was alone. The vintage-clothing store was small. I was the only one in the store when he entered. How many of us, total, were in the store?

I told The Ex I had lost my virginity that summer. I told him I'd always thought I would lose it to him. If I had been working in that store for 10 months, how much was I already saving by not buying dresses?

I came out from behind the little glass counter. I said, "If you don't leave this store I'm going to kiss you." He stayed. We kissed.

(How many more words than actions?)

(How many actions describe a word?)

On the floor.

(How many dresses?)

Toward the back.

(How many mirrors?)

Between rows of shirts.

(Men's or Women's?)

 

I climb on top of him.

(How many years ago)

He is on top of me.

(did I break up with him?)

Shirts are falling.

(Ours? The store's?)

My head is tilted.

(How many falling?)

He comes inside.

(How many years ago)

He goes outside.

(did we fall in love?)

 

This is the second time I have had sex. The Ex is the first man I loved. Both my legs are shaking (How many years ago?), and I look for my own (Was he always holding me?) things buried under (How many years ago?) other things. I look at: The Ex, who wants to stay. (How long will it take me? How much am I saving?)

 

I look: Us.

(A word?)

Problem:

The number of mirrors.


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