By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
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"Get ready for the return of rock!" Robyn Celia, the bottle-blond lead singer, screams. Then, after a sparkly riff, she lets loose a girly wail that could make Susanna Hoffs jealous. "It's a lie/Baby, it's untrue," she chants like a pissed-off cheerleader, "I would die if I didn't have you!" "Start dancing!" she yells. "Pretend this isn't New York!" The crowd, now that it's awake, is trying to process everything. A couple of guys in plaid shirts and long hair look a little freaked out. Up front are a few die-hard fansall women. The leader of the small pack twirls wildly around like a groupie. She knows every word. The lyrics float bysomething about tossing and turning, something about a "straight-to-video jam." The lead singer and the keyboard player have a transfixing chemistry, a formalistic dance of glancing and winking. All of a sudden the music stops dead, and the band chant in perfect unison, "Time out!! Get down, Miss Brown!!" and the drummer, who looks like she could fix Joan Jett's transmission, takes a mini-solo. They're like Josie and the Pussycatsthe choreographed way they smile at each other and make jokes between songs. Very squeaky-clean '50s, but with a sexy girlpower twist. Whenever the male bassist tries to steal the spotlight, he gets taunted until he stops. "What-ever, LL Cool J," Robyn smirks, after he attempts a particularly macho riff. These chicks probably have their own van, and it's probably pinkthe guys are just along for the ride.
Cartoonish, girl-fueled powerpop in a basement club is kind of a waste. Especially for Lava Baby, whose typical fan is about 15, from Kansas, and sends them e-mails like "You guys, you're so hot I can't believe it your even better than brittany spears." After the band won the most audience votes in VH1's Undiscovered Artist search last year, teens from the Midwest started getting waaay into them. "We sent them personal e-mails back," Robyn says, "and they think we're, like, Christina Aguilera." Soon they were getting thousands of requests through lavababy.com for their self-recorded 1999 debut CD, In the Right Place. "We got so many e-mails that we decided to give our CDs out for free," Robyn says.
So far, that's the only way they've been able to distribute their music. They've got a van, but they don't have a manager. Or a booking agent, or a record deal, or a guest spot on TRL. They've been courted by labels and talent agencies, but to no avail. "ICM approaches us," Robyn explains, "and they're like, 'You guys are amazing, you're the Go-Go's of the millennium, call us next week.' I called the next weekgreat conversation with the guyhe went to school with Jewel, we had this whole joke about Jewel. We never heard from him again. And that happens a lot."
"Whatever," Miss Brown adds, angrily. "The industry can kiss my ass." Lava Baby might be frustrated partly because they've never considered themselves indie; they've always been a pop band. When an oddly sycophantic Billboard article trumpeted, "This is a no-brainer for a record label in search of something that's truly fresh and marketable," they took it as a compliment. Still, for a "no-brainer," they have had surprisingly bad luck with record companies.
The main reason may be that girls playing instruments haven't been on the radio in a while. At least new girls. The "Hot Adult Contemporary" format that's taken over so many playlists doesn't allow for it. Hot AC is that "no rap/no hard stuff" formula stations like New York's 95.5 WPLJ use, mixing up new music with hits from the last few decades. WPLJ wants to attract women in their twenties, whothe rationale goescan't get enough of that '80s music. So, interspersed in the lineup of modern rocking boys, Faith Hill, and the occasional Nirvana song, you get Power Station, Blondie, the Bangles, Cyndi Lauper. People are so used to listening to the same girls rocking over and over again that the Bangles have become practically canonical. " 'In Your Room'I wish I wrote that song," Miss Brown says reverently. "We belong in the '80s," Robyn sighs. Lava Baby would make perfect sense on Hot AC, but strangely they're losing out to music from two decades ago.
Although WPLJ is supposed to appeal to women, they hardly ever play new female bandsthe contemporary rock part of their equation is Third Eye Blind with a twist of Everclear. The other rock radio format du jour, stations devoted to Fred Durst and his angry little minions, is also a no-girls-allowed clubhouse. It's a rough time for power ballads and tearjerking rock lullabies.