By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
And now, let's fill our Solo cups with sequined Champale and go to the Eugene party for Cheap Datemagazine, where creative coordinator Marlon Richards told me the publication comes out "whenever we have enough money." How noble of him not to hit up Dad for dough, especially since Papa is a Rolling StoneKeith Richards!
I got no satisfaction watching the Miss USA Pageant, except for the poignant spectacle of Miss Missouri totally bombing out in the question-and-answer segmentand I'm talking nuclearbomb. When asked whether the media create too much controversy around sports, Miss Missouri admitted she didn't understand the question"I can only repeat what's on the card," said celebrity inquisitor Daniel Baldwinand then, when quizzed about who her favorite female athlete is, the floundering sexpot said she's not a sports person and had no idea! One last question: Can you find your way to the exit, darling?
By the way, recent sexuality coverage has raised some provocative questions and even answered them. Denis Ferrara wrote a wonderfully thought-out column for the vacationing Liz Smith about the Eminem crisis. And though I've addressed Rosie O'Donnell's private life for years, New Yorkmagazine ran one thing about it and then she practically came out! Oh, well, I welcome the progress, even if I don't get a Waldorf tribute for it.
Of course, not everything's so jubilant or clear-cut. Chastity Bono was just quoted as saying Tom Cruise couldn't possibly be gay because he dated her mother, Cher! (Yeah, but didn't David Geffen too?) Oh well, at least I just had the pleasure of personally confronting Eminem's mother on Sally Jessy Raphael. Mama Matherswho's not trailer trash, by the way; she lives in "a modular home"insisted, "My son's not like you think. Some of his best friends are gay." Oh, please, miss honey! That's the oldest excuse in the bookand besides, you'rethe one who's suing him. Now someone get all this fucking peanut butter off my sequins!