By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
The Money Shot, a biweekly Internet television series from Carbon Based Films, follows the trials and tribulations of staffers at the fictional Blue Movie Guide. The series is toutedand it's not PR hypeas an insider's look at the porn industry. The show's creators got their material by profiling starlets and reviewing XXX videos for Blue Movie's real-life counterpart, Adult Video News. These folks know the secrets of Pornotopia because they watched the ins and outs in the flesh (or on tape) for a living. It may sound like a dream job to a porn fan, but The Money Shottells a darker tale of a life spent pushing play or pause.
In the first episode's opening scene, two porn stars are going at it on a film set as the director looks on, barking commands. The moans and yelps of the stars are suddenly drowned out by the sound of a snoring guy in the corner of the room. Mr. Sleeping Beauty, identified as a Blue Movie Guidereporter assigned to cover the production, is one of the colorful yet terminally jaded writers on the show. Although it's an entertaining glimpse at what really goes on behind the XXX scenes, it's a curious one; I mean, how could a guy actually nod off while people are having sex a few feet away from him?
I don't think I am yet so disillusioned; however, I was wondering if George W.'s reign, new content rules set forth by some major porn producers, and general hysteria might indeed cause a visit to an adult film set to result in a catnap. My access to a Vivid Video shoot called Sweet Desireswas the perfect opportunity to see for myself just what was happening in the unassuming suburban homes of the sprawling San Fernando Valley.
When I get to the set, I attempt to casually slip into a leather chair a room away from where they are shooting, but close to the video monitor. (It's no piece of cake to be inconspicuous, considering I'm the only woman in the vicinity wearing clothes.) Contract girl Kira sits naked on a marble-topped kitchen island. The twentysomething former stripper signed an exclusive contract with Vivid as soon as she entered the business two and a half years ago. With long legs and a tiny waist, big silicone breasts, and hair worthy of any shampoo commercial (the word cascading comes to mind), she's prime Vivid Girl material. Her creamy skin, the color of coffee with half a cup of milk in it, hints at some ethnicity (Hawaiian? Pacific Islander?), the only element keeping her from being a brunet Barbie.
A production manager leans over and says, I love his ass. Im not gay or anything, but thats a great ass. Its a pretty amazing ass a tanned, muscled bubble butt.
Costar T.J. Cummings unwraps a pink condom and rolls it down his cock as Kira spreads her legs. I'm getting a cold ass just thinking about how long she's been on the countertop. Someone brings in a wooden step stool for him to stand on. (He can't quite reach the counter on his own.) T.J. slips inside Kira's pussy, and almost immediately he's pounding her hard. She makes a high-pitched noise every time he slams into her; it sounds like a word somewhere between "Ohhhhh" and "Help," and it makes the rather tame scene worthwhile for me.
One of the production managers leans over and says, "I love his ass. I'm not gay or anything, but that's a great ass."
Director Robby D laughs. He looks like he just came from winning an extreme skateboarding championship. I have to admit T.J. does have a pretty amazing assa tanned, muscled bubble butt, worthy of any A-list man-on-man feature. He looks like a gay porn star because, well, he's attractive and has a gym body, and dudes who look like him are usually gay porn stars.
"Wait, the condom's gone," a crew member announces. "The condom's not there anymore." It obviously came off and slipped inside Kira, who giggles as she tries to fish it out.
"That's why they call it a snatch," says one of the crew members. But Robby D actually likes to call it a cookie, which he does several times, as in "Put your hands on your cookie, Kira." I can't help it; all I can think of is Girl Scout cookies.
With a new condom on, T.J.'s cock has gotten harder and flushed a bright pinknow I see the logic of the color choice. He starts pumping away again, this time for only a few seconds before the DP (that's the director of photography, not to be confused with a "dp"shorthand for double penetration) yells, "Light!"
The c-light is a light shined directly on the action (whether you want to call it crotch or cookie or cunt). It helps us see the "c" better. Makes the "c" brighter. Like the spotlight on the diva at an opera, it helps the "c" to sing. I appreciate the light's direct approach to the "c." No fumbling around with the lights out. I wish I had a c-light handy sometimes, so I could see what I was doing. Now the guy who holds the c-light, well, he's about as close to the fucking as possible without being in the movie (or in the girl's pussy himself). And his job is to follow the "c" with the c-light. Which can be harder said than done if the "c" is rambunctious, slippery, or dodgy. But Kira's "c" is well-behaved, docile, predictable enough to be easy to follow.