Beyoncé Good and Evil

"Bootylicious" and "Sexy Daddy" (along with "Apple Pie," the most obvious choices for singles) are saltier gumbos, the latter's Electra-sick title lending it a slight advantage. So named for the moment that Kelly locks eyes with what she thinks could be "my baby's fatherfatherfather," "Sexy Daddy" is the densest conflagration on Survivor, an OutKast-as-girl-group freakout that proves Beyoncé was taking some copious notes during She'kspere class. "I don't think you heard me—I wanna see you dance! GET UP AND DANCE!" she hollers like she's venting on a dawdling caterer, while the swoony choruses make casting for sperm donors seem, well, romantic. Pass the prenup! "Bootylicious" is a sweltering snake dance, the trio scatting and hyperventilating and emitting lusty little hiccups ("lookin' hot-TA!") while they double-dare the ballers to take a bite out of their raspberry danish.

Odd and disappointing, then, that Survivor seems so consistently sexless. "I don't think you're ready for this jelly," the girls decide, rather preemptively. We're back to junior high. Beyoncé is the most beautiful, most popular seventh-grader, drunk on her own power, and the reverend's daughter to boot. She's a mean drunk, too, rubbing everybody's face in her Chosen status until she looks around one day and finds she only has two friends left. "Actually, it's like she had one friend, and her dad had to buy her another," as an astute buddy pointed out. So let's say that Beyoncé is at one of those awkward stages. She's an independent woman who's a sexy daddy's-girl. Her love don't cost a thing—and yet, the house they live in, she bought it. Maybe it's time to move out.

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