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So am I, gleefully going along on a junket to check out that gigantic Mohegan Sun casino on the site of a reservation in Uncasville, Connecticut, maneuvering through the dirt in my apartment in search of some certified glamour that's not The Producers. Well, I had no reservations, yuck yuck yuck, and was amazed to find a splash of Vegas in the middle of the Martha Stewartstate, and one that makes the desert look deserted by comparison. The place is mobbed, with even barely mobile people in iron lung?looking contraptions managing to pull that damned lever.

The decor is elaborately executed in a Native American theme replete with four entrances based on the seasons, dreamed up by architect David Rockwell (who also did the more intentionally kitschy Rocky Horror Show set). Every beaver carpet has a meaning, and even the restaurants are themed—like Mohegan Territory, where the mixed drinks include the Muddy Paw, Indian Leap, and Flaming Arrow; and Chief's Deli, where a corned beef and Swiss sandwich is intriguingly called the Chief Tantaquidgeon.

While waiting for the billion-dollar expansion that'll include a Tree of Life and a Wombi Rock, there's plenty to do in the casino besides ordering Tantaquidgeons on rye—like paying homage to the sculpture of a 102-year-old medicine woman holding an offering basket. Alas, the real-life lady is too frail to host a party in a drag restaurant in New York. (I asked.)

We’re not afraid anymore: Dawson’s Creek’s big gay kiss.
photo: Julia Xanthos
We’re not afraid anymore: Dawson’s Creek’s big gay kiss.

But other still-kicking luminaries, from Jerry Lee Lewisto Duran Duran, turn up in the Wolf Den, the Mohegan's concert space that tribe members are guaranteed admission to. (As junketeering journo Mickey Boardmannoted, "Preferred seating for Mickey Gilleyis the least we can do in exchange for stealing away their land!") After five more meals at the casino, we took in a performance in the Uncas Pavilion by Ray Romano, who said, "Nice to be here. Where am I?" Ray was surprisingly funny talking about everything from long-term companions to rectal leakage, one of which I think I have. (Either way, a Dutch oven's out of the question.) What I don'thave? Tickets to The Producers. I wish I was Bernadette Peters!


Exclusive on Porn Star Sued by Tom Cruise As you know, porn actor Kyle Bradford (a/k/a Chad Slater, a/k/a Phil Navarone) is being sued by Tom Cruise for allegedly saying he had an affair with the superstar. Well, Bradford's ex-partner, Randall Kohl, just gave me his take on Kyle/Chad's persona. "I have great feelings for Chad," said Randall, "but I think he's an actor on the stage and doesn't know when to get off. He reminds me of a little kid telling stories to get attention. He'd tell me that Tom gave him a watch and also offered to buy him a car. And on the CD that Chad did [a well-sung ditty called "Standing Here Alone"], it was his singing, but enhanced with computerization—he's the new Milli Vanilli. "I was with him almost a year, but I didn't really know him until after about six months. I noticed his lying when he said he was going to appear on [the British music show] Top of the Pops and he didn't—he actually went to Europe to wrestle. He said he did a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial that I found out was not true. Also, I introduced him to the director of Days of Our Lives, who put him on. They called him to go on again, but Chad said he's better than that and didn't want to make just $600-700 for a part. Can you believe that? "He wants to be like Tom Cruise. Deep down, Chad thought he was Tom in his mind. He thought he looked a lot like him—he told me he did." Well, they're both short. "Chad's family found out about his life as a result of this lawsuit," added Randall (who markets Frixion lube, among other things). Meanwhile, Randall says that Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields, told him Kyle/Chad has faxed over a statement stating he'd never met Cruise. He may not have always sung that tune. According to Randall, the porn star gave a quite different interview to the London Daily Mail (it didn't end up running that paper, which reportedly had doubts), though Kyle recently told me he never spoke to the French magazine that sparked the suit. The porn actor did not return a call for comment. Kyle/Chad has appeared in movies like The Cockpit Club and Porn Star: The Joey Stefano Story. As for his CD, I'm thanked and pictured in it—maybe he likes press people—having met him several times through a friend. He seemed perfectly nice! P.S. A tabloid will soon print an interview with Kyle's ex-wife—yes, he has an ex-wife—giving her take on all the gossip and why they broke up.Back to this week's full Musto.


Related article:

"Cruise Control"
Why is Tom Cruise so quick to sue over gay rumors? Richard Goldstein looks at closets, lawsuits—and the scariest straight-male fantasy of all.


musto@villagevoice.com

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