By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who want someone else to rescue them from their demons and fill up the holes in their souls, and those who are committed to rescuing themselves and filling the holes in their own souls. I believe that many of you Sagittarians are now at a crossroads: You're undergoing a self-exploration that'll determine which of the two types you will be for many years to come. I'm sure you know how I hope it all turns out.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
If I were king, everyone would have an inalienable right to ample amounts of food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and psychotherapy. Sadly, even the most enlightened crusaders for economic justice don't include that last necessity among the rights worth fighting for. That's why I'm assured a gig for the foreseeable future. For many of my readers, I'm the closest thing to a therapist. They regard me as a compassionate witness who asks them to think, feel, and do things outside of their usual contexts. As much as I love this role, my dears, I think you may need a more personal version of my services during the coming weeks. Please enlist a pro to gently kick your butt and smartly soothe your heart.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It's a good week for you to write a 10-page essay titled "People, Places, and Things I Didn't Know I Loved." To do this project justice, you should wander far and wide, allowing yourself the luxury of getting into good mischief and stirring up high-class temptations. Oh, I should add that it'll be important for you to open your eyes and heart wider than usual. One more hint: Act on the assumption that you're now receptive, for the first time, to sources of sweet delight that you never imagined existed.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20)
Mine is just one small voice urging you to give yourself all the slack you need. The nature spirits echo my plea, as do the secret helpers that are working behind the scenes to turn you into the gorgeous curiosity you were born to be. Gaia herself, the living Goddess of our planet, would also like you to take a few days off so that you might nurture yourself with more ferocious tenderness. Indeed, the 200 billion stars in the Milky Way Galaxy have aligned in such a way as to give you a mandate to luxuriate in your sanctuary and temporarily relinquish all ambition; to relax down to the marrow of your bones and align yourself with the rhythms of the Great Mystery.
Homework: If you could change your astrological sign, what would you change it to and why? Write: firstname.lastname@example.org.