By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Most of us have had curses cast on us. But unlike how they're portrayed in novels and films, the real thing is rarely an act of black magic conjured by a bad wizard. Rather, it's a negative declaration about our potential delivered by a person we love or trust. For instance, when I was 21 years old, my astrology teacher smacked me with this paralyzing prophecy: "You will never be known for who you really are." I've fought that whammy ever since. Your own curse may have been hurled by a parent who said you would never succeed, or an ex-lover who asserted that you'll never have a decent relationship. But whatever malediction you've had to bear all this time, Sagittarius, I want you to know that the cosmic forces are now aligned to help you banish it for good.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
My acquaintance Boyd specializes in "sacred sarcasm." It's a benevolent approach to shaking people up. "You sure impressed God during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer," he once said to a female friend, hoping it would prod her to swear off such self-punishing behavior forever. "No doubt you earned a truckload of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off over and over," he told another pal, wishing that it might stimulate her to ask for more in return for her gifts. In the spirit of Boyd's sacred sarcasm, I offer this message for you, Capricorn: Surely your soul will be nourished and your ambitions buoyed by the pinched and stingy feelings you're now tempted to indulge.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Did you used to share your blanket at nap time in kindergarten? If so, there's a good chance you have what it takes to capitalize on the half-disguised opportunities that'll soon arise. Spontaneous acts of generosity will have amazing clout, you see. They'll unleash events that'll precipitate liberating surprises. I should also note another benefit that's likely if you resurrect your old blanket-sharing tendencies: People who are worth knowing better will gravitate to you, eager to find out more about your approach to getting comfortable.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Due to pollution, full-blown rainbows are becoming an endangered species. "Sun dogs," or tiny fragmented pieces of rainbows, are more and more commonplace. In sad protest, I am suspending my use of the rainbow metaphor until further notice. Happily, your current astrological needs do not require me to invoke this increasingly scarce natural wonder. The good fortune brewing in your vicinity will most likely occur in mysterious circumstances or under cover of darkness, and therefore have no resemblance to anything that occurs in broad daylight. The more apt symbol for your future, Pisces, is the moonbow: a bridge of colored light that forms over a waterfall from the blend of moon glow and water spray.
Homework: What experience have you been denying yourself even though it wouldn't hurt anyone else and would be good for you? Write a note giving yourself permission.