NY Mirror

I struck poses, over Dramamine, with all sorts of cult stars, drag queens, and people who can swim at Alizé's Cruise to Passion, a rocky boat ride that mixed dance music, camp, and potential nausea into a three-hour tour worthy of the millionaire and his wife. The star attraction, Charo, kept cuchi-cuching around the deck—I guess she learned that on The Love Boat—and when I told her she predated that other Latin spitfire, Ricky Martin, she cracked, "Who's Ricky Martin?" Cohost Traci Elizabeth Lords, who no longer shtups to conquer, was oodles of fun, especially when telling me that her ex, John Enos, relieved himself on someone as a way of protecting her. "He was funny, but a jerk," she confided. As for other bodily fluids, there seemed to be some bad blood between the ex-porn queen and the evening's DJ, Lady Bunny, though Traci nobly said, "Bunny's actually been OK to me, considering I'm a girl."

Not to stir up more trouble, but it was here—about 100 years ago—that you first read that Seth Green will costar in Party Monster when it gets off the ground! And not to ruffle Sony's fraudulent feathers, but instead of inventing that critic to promote A Knight's Tale, they could have just used my quote: "Heath Ledger is minimally talented." Or maybe not.

Meanwhile, why is Giuliani getting even minimally angry about reports that he stayed at the St. Regis with Judith? The relationship is long out of the box, as it were—and besides, a Times Square hotel source was saying the same thing last year! And as long as we're asking hard questions, why on earth is there a J.Lo-type character in Atlantis, which is set way back in 1914? ("Who's Ricky Martin?" indeed.) I'm surprised they don't have her driving a Mercedes-Benz.

“You’re a monster!”: Olivier Ducastel (left) and Jacques Martineau, writer-directors of Adventures of Felix.
photo: Robin Holland
“You’re a monster!”: Olivier Ducastel (left) and Jacques Martineau, writer-directors of Adventures of Felix.


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