By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
I've always believed that gay men have the market cornered on getting some anonymously and out in the open, and the Web site I've recently been turned on to, Squirt.org, confirms it. In New York City alone, there are more than 85 gay cruising areas listed, including bathrooms in hotels, department stores, restaurants, bookstores, and airports, as well as gyms, video arcades, parks, theaters, and even subways: "The last car of the 2 train is infamous! Heading uptown through the Bronx toward 241st. After rush hour. Or midday when kids are in school and adults are at work. Just rub your dick and look for others doing the same. Make eye contact and go from there." My first impression of Squirt was that fags are so organized! You can go to any major city almost anywhere in the world and know exactly where to go to cruise other men; with a little effort, you can probably have anonymous, semipublic sex while you are there. Not to mention all the gay bathhouses and sex clubs.
The closest spurting equivalent for queer women I found on the Web is a lesbian personals site called Womanline.com, where there is actually an "intimate encounters" section for women who are just looking for sex. A sample of the offerings: "Little Squirter says: Lipstick will spread for you! Let's chat about my talent." It's not exactly the infamous tone of the gay personals"eat my 10 inches of man meat"but it's a start. Beyond the virtual world, there are few, if any, cruising spots for dykes. Why not? Women don't have public sex with women very often, women cruise other women even less often, and women rarely have anonymous sex with each other. No, I don't really have the data on this phenomenon. (Somehow, no one has funded a grant to study the public sex practices of lesbiansshocking.)
We have many of the same opportunities as the boys: rest stop areas, gym locker rooms, AA and Al-Anon meetings. We even have a few of our own: Prospect Park's Nethermead during dog off-leash hours, the bathrooms during WNBA games and Indigo Girls concerts, post-Dyke March gatherings, and the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival. So why aren't we doing it like the boys? First of all, guys have a much easier time having sex standing up; public encounters often involve mutual masturbation where they whip it out, jerk it off, and go. Chicks can't whip out their clits in quite the same way, and we often prefer to lie back and spread our legs, which is not easy to do in, say, a bathroom stall. Plus, when you're in the great outdoors, there's rarely a reliable electrical outlet for the Hitachi Magic Wand when you really need one. There are also safety issues with a woman alone walking down by the pier after midnight. Most dolls won't take the chance just for a quickie muff dive.
Like it or not, there are some marked differences between girls and boys when it comes to scoring. I hate to essentialize sex based on gender, and I don't necessarily want to debate nature versus nurture, but many women seem to be wired differently from men when it comes to sex, and for the most part, we are socialized to get to know our partners. We are a lot pickier than guys. For many women, it's not so much about the fix of sex and the come. We like to cultivate the emotional part of a physical relationship; our feelings contextualize, enhance, and fuel our sexual desires. On top of all that, dykes have an uncanny desire for a lot of information from their sex partners. And I mean name, address, occupation, eating habits, pets' names, and names of last three lovers. We're looking for a Scorpio with Cancer rising, we're looking for Prince Charming, we're looking for the mother of our children. Seldom are we looking for a good hot fuck (or if we are, we are hard-pressed to admit it to anyone, including ourselves). But some of us wouldn't mind if, every once in a while, we ran into a randy woman in a bathroom ready to hike up her skirt for a good time.