NY Mirror

On a much more grandiose scale, I've been interviewing celebs on a Metro Channel show called New York Central—plug, plug—and would adoreit if you'd let me recap some recent highlights. John Leguizamotold me that Toulouse-Lautrec was so well-hung he was called the tripod. (I guess no one was too loose for Toulouse.) Jackie Collinssaid she's never read her sister Joan's novels, explaining, "I felt it was more prudent not to because it's not really what she does. I probably would love them, and one of these days I'll get around to reading them." And Rufus Wainwrightsaid that Sinead O'Connor, who dropped out of the all-gay Wotapalava tour, "is now black."

Oh, speaking of Sinead, she provoked guffaws two years ago when she claimed to be a lesbian, and now, sure enough, she's gotten engaged to a man. (She has the kiss—I mean the ring—to prove it.) In fact, I hear the little devil was recently spotted ripping up a photo of Melissa Etheridge.

But please don't shred the following helpful hints about where you should direct your feet, entertainment-wise. The best place to play pool is Pressure (upstairs at Bowlmor), which is sleekly Austin Powers-y and blissfully not pressury at all. The movie to avoid is The Closet—it's a gay Soul Man. The best porno title of all time is The Courtship of Eddie's Finger. And one of the liveliest reads—let your fingers do the walking—is Shadow of the Dolls, Rae Lawrence's follow-up to Jackie Susann's Valley of the Dolls, which was an even dishier romp about three saucy starlets than the inevitable Behind the Musicon Destiny's Childwill be. Yes, I felt it was prudent to read the sequel and even go to its party at DKNY, where Lawrence told me she hates the Valleymovie's ending, with Anne leaving Lyon behind. "But it's a feminist twist," I balked, and Lawrence said, "But feminism is about telling the truth!" Then tell me this, woman: What would have happened to Jennifer North (the busty showgirl-turned-porn-star character) had she lived? "If she had lived?" shrieked the nearby Lisa Bishop, the manager of Susann's oeuvre. "But Jackie killed her!" No doubt using number nine.

This little piggy went to the (meat) market: Foot Friends at the Lure.
photo: Brian Finke
This little piggy went to the (meat) market: Foot Friends at the Lure.

Late-Breaking Item!

The new Natalie Wood bio, Natasha, is fascinating not only because of its sexual revelations about Robert Wagner, but also because of the lengthy investigation it provides into Natalie's tragic death by dinghy. Interestingly, an actor friend of Natalie's is quoted as being skeptical that Natalie was alone when she died and that her death was purely accidental. And who is this guy who seems to be hinting at foul play? Robert Blake!


musto@villagevoice.com

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