NY Mirror

You want some fucked-up flacks? A magazine recently assigned me to interview psychic John Edward, and though I thought I could do a cute job with it, Edward's publicist quashed the idea because I'd been skeptical about him in the past. Skeptical about a guy who says he talks to the dead? Oh, how crazy and reckless am I—I who'd been unexpectedly brought into the center of one of Edward's séances four years ago and noticed that practically everything he said about me seemed cutely cuckoo! (He claimed that someone from Montauk who'd died of a blood disease was trying to contact me. Please—no one from Montauk has ever tried to contact me.) My guess is that LaToya Jackson—who's also like a sister to me, if not to Michael—is the only living diva capable of interviewing this guy.

I communed with the living at Beige, the long-running Tuesday-night bash at B Bar, which is sprawling with more lovably narcissistic queens than ever. In between fuzzy navels, promoter Erich Conrad told me that Joan Collins turned up there not long ago, explaining, "I was going to go to Sardi's, but fuck Sardi's!" (I have, dear, I have.) Joan was missing this night, but Conrad was entertainment enough, serving up thoughts like "Why are New Yorkers so depressed? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey." (I don't condone this point of view, by the way; Jersey should remain in the union for many reasons, bombastic heavy metal just one of them.)

The light at the end of my table was the electric-red-haired costumer Pat Field, who'd just gotten flak for putting her Sex and the City cast in constricting Burberry outfits for an overheated ball scene. "I'm supposed to put them in bathing suits for a Scottish ball?" balked Field. "How was I supposed to know the Armory has no air-conditioning?" Yeah, they really need to plug it in, plug it in.

Plug it in: Satanicide’s Devlin Mayhem locks horns at Brownies.
photo: J.K. Condyles
Plug it in: Satanicide’s Devlin Mayhem locks horns at Brownies.

Musto can be heard weekdays at 3 and 7 p.m. on Voice Radio.

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