By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I'm fond of making extreme statements when you get into extreme moods. So put this in your fortune cookie and chew it: The truths that are most important to you now are exactly those that are least appreciated and understood by your inner circle. I also love to get mystically tricky when you start turning inside out, Sagittarius. So here's a riddle for you to solve on your way over to the place where maybe turns into yes and doubt mutates into determination: What local power spot harbors the exotic stimuli that you've always assumed were far away?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Give thanks you're not a rural Alabama teenager deprived of sex education. If you were, you'd be pregnant or make someone pregnant by mid August. Why? Because your tribe is both horny and extra fertile right now. It's also lucky, Capricorn, that as the kind of cultured and savvy person who reads this column, you know how to comport yourself like a safe-sex machine. That skill will help you take maximum advantage of the rich pluckings headed your way. I should add, though, that if there is anything you still don't know about what turns you on and how to take responsibility for it, it's a perfect time to find out. Make love, not babies. Create artistic masterpieces, not melodramatic complications.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
"I love people's flaws," says Crystal Schultz, a reader of this column. "The man I love more than any other is one of the ugliest people I've ever met. His skin is scarred, he has bad teeth and beady eyes and a large nose, but he has the hugest heart and a wickedly childish smile that you can't take your eyes off. He is the smartest, most electrical person I've ever met, and I think he's gorgeous." I've quoted at length from Crystal's testimony, Aquarius, because it's the precise spirit I'd like you to bring to your own quest for transformative beauty in the coming days. By the way, this isn't just another version of "don't judge a book by its cover." Study Crystal's words and you'll notice that she's attracted to the outside as well as the inside of the man she loves.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Do you cringe when you encounter the number 13? Do you compulsively check your horoscope in three different newspapers and 10 Web sites? Do you feel that if you talk about scary subjects you make them more likely to happen? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the days ahead might confuse you. Why? Because it'll be one of the least superstitious weeks on record. There'll be no such thing as good luck or bad luck. Blind fate and pure chance will count for almost nothing. Clarity of purpose and rational analysis will carry unbelievable clout. If you think free will is an illusion, you'll soon find out differently.
Send news of your favorite mysteryan enigma that is both maddening and delightfulto email@example.com.