By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
The veil between this world and the next is parting. You will be privy to visions of secret truths and future events that no one else can see. To complicate matters, though, you may also be visited by mere hallucinations that spring from your unhealed wounds. It'll be a challenge to know which are which. Here's one gauge for telling them apart: The deluded fantasies will tempt you to believe you're better than other people, while the authentic revelations will render you humble and compassionate.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Your past isn't what it used to be, and the proof will soon emerge. It'll be a little like archaeologists finding a fossilized TV embedded in 35-million-year-old rock strata. For some of you, it may even have a resemblance to discovering that your real parents were Gypsies who gave you away the day after you were born. After the initial shock, Capricorn, you can expect a rush of liberated glee at the prospect of revising your theories about how you got to be who you are now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
I wish I could tell you stories that gave you grinning power over your fears. I wish I could inspire you to risk a radical act of faith on behalf of your freshest dreams. I wish I could shock you into seeing yourself as your best teacher might see you. And I wish that if these things weren't within my power, something or someone else would catalyze them. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Aquarius, I will get at least half of my last wish granted.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
You may not be the cleverest sign of the zodiac, but you're probably the deepest. What you lack in sheer mental pyrotechnics you make up for with the artistry of your emotional acrobatics. If you think I'm buttering you up so you'll leave yourself open for me to kick you in the butt, you're right. The fact is, Pisces, that you won't be able to think your way out of the amazing maze you're lost in. Your only hope is to summon a flood of feelings to flush you out. Show everyone why our judges have named you the Touchy-Feely Genius of 2001.
Imagine that you run into a psychic healer who is fascinated by the possibility of placing herself in service to you. What is the chronic pain you would ask her to cure first? Send testimony to email@example.com.