Naked Lunch

A Sex-Club Vet Explains How to Raise a College Fund

Despite the money, Kelly soon found the club depressing. Since up to a hundred girls hustled lap dances at once, the atmosphere was often exhaustingly competitive. Kelly was "really happy when I met a girl who revealed that she was an economics undergrad at Columbia. She was pretty in an all-American kind of way, and she was one of the kinder faces in the crowd."

Hardest of all was pushing lap dances on customers for eight hours straight. "You have to have a thick skin. Like going up to a group of middle-aged businessmen who are at the point in their conversation where they're talking business. You're just doing your job, but they look up at you like you're this stupid bimbo to be interrupting them. And they always thought I was lying when I said I had a college degree."

On one of her last nights, Ice-T came in, surrounded by an entourage. "He didn't get any lap dances. He sat there for a long time, just watching. I would have thought it was hilarious to do a dance for him. At least he's actually interesting!"

Though she's still scarred by the "interminable remixes" of Madonna's "Music," Kelly advises that "stripping is definitely worth it if you need some quick cash. If you're willing to be aggressive and shameless, and you're a night person who can be in a smoky club for hours—with bad music—then go for it. And," she adds, laughing, "if you're comfortable having your ass two inches from a guy's nose."

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