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French Tries, by Romanian Eugene Ionesco, Come Alive


THE HOLY MOTHER OF HADLEY NEW YORK
Opens September 6
The Ohio Theatre, 66 Wooster Street, 206-1515

New Georges opens their season with Barbara Wiechmann's play about an alleged sighting of the Virgin Mary in upstate New York. (Jesus had siblings, you know, so Mary wasn't always a virgin.) The cast of 11 features Mary Schultz and Maria Striar.


POST TRAUMATIC SLAVE SYNDROME
Opens September 7
Henry Street Settlement Experimental Theater, 466 Grand Street, 802-9350

Obie winner Robbie McCauley directs Kamal Sinclair Steele's new play, an attempt to break down the victim-perpetrator dynamics that surround the legacy of slavery in North America.


THE SPITFIRE GRILL
Opens September 7
The Duke on 42nd Street, 229 West 42nd Street, 239-6200

Playwrights Horizons begins a vagabond year while its new theater is built. For their season opener, they've slipped a few blocks west to the plaid confines of the Signature. In The Spitfire Grill, a tuner by James Valcq and Fred Alley, a young woman with an uncertain past moves to a Wisconsin town with its own troubled backstory. Hope it's not your usual cheesy musical.


LONG DISTANCE LOVE
Opens September 8
RedLAB Theater, 100 Water Street, Brooklyn, 718-797-0046

Japanese director Shirotama Hitsujiya mounts a production that will take place simultaneously in Tokyo and Brooklyn, courtesy of Live Channel webcasting. A rumination on distance and communication, the performance also employs cell phones, faxes, and video, but no pleasant-smelling mimeographs.


THE LAST BARBECUE
Opens September 13
29th Street Rep, 212 West 29th Street, 465-1714

Playwright Brett Neveu puts the heat on suburbia, in a comedy set amid backyard barbecues. Here's hoping it's well done.


WITCH MOUNTAIN, BLACK TARANTULA
Opens September 13
Collapsable Hole, 146 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, 718-388-2251

Collapsable Giraffe returns with a happy blast of trash theater. Booze, ketamine, and pirate orgies. Do not sit in the front row.


REEFER MADNESS
Opens September 15
Variety Arts Theatre, 110 Third Avenue, 239-6200

A musical adaptation of the classic cult film about the dangers of living near coral. Paula Abdul choreographs.


DANCE OF DEATH
Opens September 18
Broadhurst Theatre, 235 West 44th Street, 239-6200

Strindberg's back in vogue for the 21st century: Last season saw Robert Wilson's visually lush A Dream Play, this summer gave us Ingmar Bergman's Swedish production of The Ghost Sonata. Now Ian McKellen and Helen Mirren hit Broadway, and maybe each other, in Dance of Death, Strindberg's 1901 tale of marital non-bliss. Adapted by Richard Greenberg.


'PHAT TUESDAYS'
Opens September 18
Galapagos, 70 North 6th Street, Brooklyn, 718-465-7572

Boo Froebel's monthly performance party returns for the fall. The kickoff lineup includes puppets by Matt Acheson, aerial acts from Chelsea Bacon, The Sadness of Things by playwright Rinne Groff, dance via David Neumann, and performances by the Pontani Sisters. Manhattanites welcome, but please do not purchase any local property.


METAMORPHOSES
Opens September 19
Second Stage Theatre, 307 West 43rd Street, 246-4422

Can't say Second Stage had the greatest season last year, so here's hoping their first show of the fall kicks things back into Jitney-style gear. Mary Zimmerman adapts and directs Ovid in a production that won a Los Angeles Ovation Award for Best Play and Director. If nothing else, it's a chance to sit in Rem Koolhaas's gorgeous theater.


UNWRAP YOUR CANDY
Opens September 19
The Vineyard Theatre, 108 East 15th Street, 353-0303

The very amusing Doug Wright, an Obie winner for Quills, opens the Vineyard's season with four short plays, described as "mordant bedtime tales for adults."


THE SHAPE OF THINGS
Opens September 20
The Promenade Theatre, 2162 Broadway, 239-6200

Neil LaBute reworks the Garden of Eden for his stage follow-up to Bash. This tragicomic spin on the battle of the sexes, courtesy of London's Almeida Theatre, stars Paul Rudd and Rachel Weisz.


ZULU TIME
Opens September 21
Roseland Ballroom, 239 West 52nd Street, 307-7171

Robert Lepage and Peter Gabriel collaborate on the centerpiece of the "Québec New York 2001" arts festival. The pair take over Roseland in a fantasia that's said to involve mechanical airplanes, contortionists, robots, and upside-down tango dancing, among other virtues. The chicness value of the event is very high, so let's hope the show is more than just a grand parade of lifeless packaging.


UNI-TARD 2
Opens September 23
Fez, 380 Lafayette Street, 533-2680

Monologues, sketches, and assorted rants from performers Mike Albo, Nora Burns, and David Ilku. I'm confident that Fez's basement space is not the firetrap it feels like.


PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS
Opens September 25
John Houseman Theatre, 450 West 42nd Street, 239-6200

Just like it sounds. Australian performers David Friend and Simon Morley use their pee-pees and related dangly bits to tell comic tales. Bring the kids.


EN FRANÇAIS COMME EN ANGLAIS, IT'S EASY TO CRITICIZE
Opens September 26
P.S. 122, 150 First Avenue, 477-5288

The best title of the season. Jacob Wren's performance piece comes south courtesy of the "Québec New York 2001" festival, and concerns life in an idea-less universe. Un spectacle drôlement sensible, organique, et prenant, they say. Hope so.


SAVE IT FOR THE STAGE: THE LIFE OF REILLY
Opens September 27
The Irish Repertory Theatre, 132 West 22nd Street, 727-2737

Charles Nelson Reilly's one-man show about himself. Enough to drive the Irish to drink.


QED
Opens September 30
Lincoln Center, Vivian Beaumont Theater, Broadway and 65th Street, 239-6200

Alan Alda stars in Peter Parnell's new play. Alda portrays noted physicist Richard Feynman in what promises to be a more Queens-inflected Copenhagen.

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