NY Mirror

Barry Levinson directed Anne in Wag the Dog, but he hasn't been privy to her personal lives lately, as he told me at an Osteria del Circo bash for his upcoming Bandits. Well, Bandits has its own kinks—it involves a juicy love triangle between various superstars, the kind of plot device that Levinson told me is rarely explored in cinema. "Not since Three's Company," I said, and he grinningly responded, "Yes, that feature."

A threesome of kooky events filled last Thursday night to the brim: the opening of Pink Elephants, a camp noir musical about the murder of a gossip columnist (I liked it—don't kill me); the hard-hat premiere of Daddy, the Mother folks' new East Village hangout (the walls were wet, the patrons dry, and you barely knew it was formerly the Fat Cock); and those MTV Video Music Awards (Michael Jackson made a triumphant return, as host Jamie Foxx tossed off child-molesting jokes, and "Lady Marmalade" co-winner Pink also warmed hearts by saying, "Thank you to everybody that thought we'd make good whores!" as Lil' Kim added, "We want to thank God, too").

The chutzpah award? It goes to Gary Condit, who might retire under pressure and apparently will say he can't bear to continue facing the inappropriate scrutiny he's gotten from the awful media. In other words, the sleazeball might go bye-bye because of our immorality? I guess this twist isn't all that surprising coming from the man who—after the Levys spent four months begging him to cough up every single thing he knew—said he wouldn't reveal details of his relationship with Chandra in deference to the Levys! And who cheated on his wife for aeons, then evaded hard questions about Chandra because he cared about his family! The carefully orchestrated parade of Condit family members and office workers testifying to his character on Larry King Live has only made me feel they're sleazy too. It's enough to make you put on a pretty wig and sing, "You're out of work, congressman."

musto@villagevoice.com. Musto can be heard weekdays at 3 and 7 p.m. on Voice Radio.

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