NY Mirror

The bios in the program were suitably succinct, like "Jared Harris—ugly as sin and twice as much fun." And during intermission, I eavesdropped on some other intriguingly short utterances, like Robert Sean Leonardsaying about The Music Man, "It's like going to the gym for three hours every night." Rosie Perezadmitted she'd just ad-libbed some lines that might have thrown Leonard off. And Sedgwick said of her bitch character, "I don't see her as a bitch."

Well, call me a C-word, but when the Daily News came out with theirlist of what's hot and not, they struck an offensive chord by saying "In: cops, out: fops." Fuck you! Using the war to trot out homophobic sentiments is hideous, especially since that pronouncement implies that fops couldn't possibly be cops or heroes (or priests). And we—I mean they—are, they are. In fact, I'm so kickass I'm planning an all-star benefit for my new drag character, Rachel Tolerance, and even Joan Riverswants to attend.

Meanwhile—the wartime gossip keeps coming—author Brad Goochhasn't become a Muslim, despite the rumors, but he has been researching the subject for a book called Godtalk—Travels in Spiritual America. Are gays welcome? "It's a debate," Gooch told me. "Someone in a mosque in Long Island told me you can't be gay and Muslim. Another from New York said there's nothing in Islamic law about being gay. It's like Christianity. There are your Falwells and your Episcopalian types." I'll take the latter.

And take this: I hear that David LaChapellewanted to make a charity poster out of a shot he has of Gisele Bundchensporting a red, white, and blue bikini, but she declined. She should be denied lip gloss for a year.

Finally, this from a reader: "A gay man helped divert one of the planes, but he wouldn't be welcome in the armed forces. A gay man, even if HIV-negative, can't donate blood. And all the queers who lost partners during this fiasco can't file insurance claims either." Thank God we live in a free country, right?


musto@villagevoice.com

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