By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Scholar Robert Graves tells us that "in ancient Ireland, the ollave, or master-poet, sat next to the king and was privileged, as none but the queen was, to wear six different colors in his clothes." The ollave, he adds, was also a judge and seer, and tutored the king in morality. In contrast, our culture relegates poets to the margins of every debate. After September's terrorist attack, for example, only Maya Angelou, in an ephemeral appearance on Nightline, managed to crack the procession of pundits, lawyers, and politicians that dominated the airwaves. I propose, Sagittarius, that we're all suffering from a dearth of lyrical, non-literal views. You of all people can't afford to tolerate this soul-killing ambiance. For God's sake, drink in good poetry ASAP. Suggestions: Rumi, Hafez (also spelled "Hafiz"), Neruda, Mary Oliver, David Whyte, Robert Bly.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You're like a dream weaver who has just remembered you're dreaming. You're like a singer with the power to deliver lyrical wake-up calls that are as tender as a lullaby. You're like a wizard in possession of an elixir that will bestow disciplined enthusiasm on whoever drinks it. You're like an inspired foreman who has had a vision of how your employees can be motivated to do even better work and enjoy their jobs more.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
All signs point up, Aquarius. So do the metaphors. When I asked my meditating mind to provide images to match your astrological omens, three bubbled to the surface of my awareness: spawning salmon leaping their way upstream and ascending a waterfall; angels struggling to climb a frayed rope ladder to the gondola of a hovering hot-air balloon; and a boy in medieval garb arduously shimmying up a towering beanstalk leading to a castle in the clouds. Here's my interpretation: Though you'll have to push hard to accomplish it, you're destined for a higher perch and a sweeping vista. Halloween costume suggestions: spawning salmon, an angel holding a ladder, Jack of "Jack and the Beanstalk" fame.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20)
Can the human aura be seen by talented psychics who have opened their third eyes? Maybe, though I don't know for sure. I myself am unimpeachable evidence, however, that auras can be sniffed by those who have activated their second noses. In fact, I can smell your aura all the way from here. It's pungent but enticing, zesty and brisk. It reminds me of a fragrance I once enjoyed while in the presence of an inspired artista blend of oil paints and turpentine, espresso and pizza, night-blooming jasmine in the garden outside, and the tangy mix of sweat and endorphins wafting from the genius at work. My interpretation: You are primed to create a tour de force that will dramatically expand your world.
What pose would it be a big relief for you to drop? In what part of your life are you faking, and what could you do to escape that bind? Write: firstname.lastname@example.org.