By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
In this year's model of the dark night of the soul, there are far more night-lights than ever before. Not only that, there's a kind of Greek chorus of cheerleaders shouting encouragement and shepherding you away from the abyss. I'm afraid that with this much love and splendor shimmering from the shadows, Sagittarius, you won't be able to relish your usual knockdown, drag-out depression. Cheer up. Maybe it means you no longer need to be tortured in order to grow. Maybe you could actually learn fromgasp!pleasurable experiences. Halloween costume suggestion: Dress up as your holy guardian angel, spirit guide, or animal ally.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
After a weighty meditation on your planetary omens and a Jungian analysis of your archetypes, I've determined that the current phase of your astrological cycle should be referred to as party time. To be in maximum harmony with cosmic forces, you should indulge in an unusually large amount of revelry. I'm even tempted to conclude that you have a karmic responsibility to pursue merriment and conviviality with an unprecedented intensity. Polite socializing and strategic networking will be good, but they won't go far enough; you need to carouse and hobnob with fascinating lovers of life. Halloween costume suggestion: the ultimate party animal.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
The astrological omens suggest that you'd be well within your cosmic rights to rebel against the conventional wisdom, not play by the rules, and dream up amusing new approaches to tired old dilemmas. In fact, you're likely to unlock the full glory of your destiny only if you tinker with just about every formula that has worked before. In the spirit of total reinvention, how about sprinkling your conversation with freshly coined words? Here are a few that should come in handy this week. Dulce-electrico: electrifyingly sweet. (From a Spanish-language Sour Skittles ad campaign in Southern California.) Decrustification: getting to know someone better; penetrating the surface appearances. Dankurtis: a joyful flood of curiosity and spontaneity. (Find more at www.pseudodictionary.com.)
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20)
The Assertiveness Training Wing of the Piscean Support Group is pleased with your recent promise to leave your little safety zone. But the pushy folks who're in charge over there are also worried you'll become so enamored with talking about the fresh courage you've mustered that you won't actually act on it. They've been badgering me to mention this to you. I agreed to do so, since their concern jibes with a potential problem I detected from your astrological omens. Let's hope that reading this warning will be the gentle shock you need to stop gazing at the maps and get your ass into the actual frontiers. Halloween costume suggestion: wilderness guide, race car driver, skydiver, peace protester.
Meditate on death not as the end of physical life, but as a metaphor for shedding what's outworn. In that light, what is the best death you've ever experienced? email@example.com.